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Movies in Fifteen Minutes - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in Fifteen Minutes
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in Fifteen Minutes
Well, that only took eight months a week and a half, then.

1) Warning: strong language. Not quite as persistently as in POA/15M, but there you are.

2) No, I never went back and did Order of the Phoenix for some reason (nor Chamber of Secrets). I should get on that. But Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone is in the book and Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire are online.

3) Yes, I left out your favorite part. Was your favorite part already funny? Well, that's why I had to leave it out.

4) I do have a new agent and we're looking into American distribution for the book. (No, there's still just one. The other one is the hardcover.)

5) Feel free to link this places or make icons or make videos, but PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THE WHOLE THING SOMEWHERE ELSE. Send people here to read it. You can put up a few quotes and everything. Really, isn't it easier that way?




Our Story Begins

[... when Bellatrix and Fenrir Greyback and some other Death Eaters, I guess they're Carrows or something, twist up the Millennium Bridge like a Twizzler and raid Ollivander's shop over in Diagon Alley.]



The Prime Minister's Reaction
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[This scene has been cut for time.]



Some Diner

DUMBLEDORE: Aren't we supposed to be at the Dursleys' for a Very Significant Scene?

HARRY: I, well, uh... thought I'd flirt with this waitress? You know, in a brief attempt at having a relatively normal life?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Please, the Chosen One doesn't get to be happy.



The Charming Village of Budleigh Babberton

SOME ARMCHAIR: Horace Slughorn is not here! He's on holiday! Dead! ON THE MOON!

[Dumbledore pokes Chairace Armslug and turns him back into a vain, wibbly former Potions master.]

HORACE SLUGHORN: Harry Potter! You look just like--
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: Okay, yes, I get it, I am the very zombie likeness of my father with my mother's eyes peering out the sockets, can we get over this?

SLUGHORN: Although you do not look anything like Regulus A. Black, who is in this picture right here, in case you were wondering.

DUMBLEDORE: Tea cozy pattern plz?

SLUGHORN: By the way, I definitely do not want to come back to Hogwarts, unquestionably NOT, undeniably NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT NO NO NO YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Mmkay. Thnxbai.

SLUGHORN: OH IF YOU INSIST.



The Unbreakable Vow

[Narcissa has come to beg an unusually feathered Snape for her son's life, and indeed, she is so distraught that her hair has gone two-toned. Her sister Bellatrix, however, is somewhat doubtful of Snape's stick-to-it-iveness.]

SNAPE: Begone, Wormtail! Fetch us a meat pie or something.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
BELLATRIX: You realize that, in promising to cover Draco's ass, this is a vow that you cannot break, coward?

SNAPE: Yes.

BELLATRIX: Hence the unbreakability, scum?

SNAPE: Obviously.

BELLATRIX: And the vowness, Fluffy?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SNAPE: BRING IT.



Weasley & Weasley's Plot Point Emporium

FRED (OR GEORGE): Wouldn't it be awful if someone used our Instant Darkness Powder to infiltrate Hogwarts, thus leading to the death of Professor Dumbledore instead of just a harmless prank?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
GEORGE (OR FRED): Well, that's why I put an anti-irony charm on it!

FRED (OR GEORGE): Excellent.



Draco Malfoy, Bringing Sexy Back Since: Now

LOOK AT THIS GQ MOTHERFUCKER, GODDAMN




YOU THINK THIS PUREBLOOD'S GOTTA FINISH SCHOOL WELL YOU ARE WRONG FOOL, HE'S TOO BUSY SCOPING CABINETS ON THE BADASS SIDE OF TOWN, HIS HAIR IS PLATINUM AND SO ARE HIS CREDIT CARDS--SQUIB, DON'T YOU TOUCH HIS CANE, THAT IS 24-CARAT PIMP.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[... I'm not really much of a Draco fan.]

DRACO: *NOSEBREAK FOOTSTOMP*



Dumbledore's Office

DUMBLEDORE: Before we get started, Harry, is there any hope you can give the shippers who want to see you with Miss Granger?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: Uh... no. Icky like a sister, sorry.

DUMBLEDORE: On to the Pensieve, then!


The Littlest Voldemort

BABY TOM RIDDLE: Sometimes snakes whisper to me. They tell me where to hide the bodies.


HARRY: So... Voldemort was a total serial killer from the age of, like, five.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Dahmer in kneesocks, yes. And that's why I need you to gain Slughorn's trust and learn more about him. About Tom Riddle, I mean--Professor Slughorn just wants to collect you.

HARRY: In... like... a jar?

DUMBLEDORE: If necessary, yes.

HARRY: Is there anything else supremely creepy I should know about?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Well, Bellatrix LeStrange's new best friend is a werewolf who bites jailbait and he's not even cute.

HARRY: D:

DUMBLEDORE: Oh, all right, we won't mention that part.



Slughorn's First Potions Class

SLUGHORN: Why, how ironic, Harry! You wouldn't have even made this class if my standards weren't so low, and here you turn out to be a potions genius!* Free Felix Felicis for you!

* Genius may or may not be real. Valid only for potions required in a sixth-year class. No refunds or exchanges; maim with unknown spells at your own risk.

[And that's why you always buy your textbooks used, kids.]

HERMIONE'S HAIR: *snarls*



Snape's First Defense Against the Dark Arts Class, A Position He Has Tried to Get Lo These Many Years and Everyone Has Deeply Feared Him Attaining
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[This scene has been cut for time.]



In Which Draco Sucks at Fixing Magic Cabinets
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DRACO: Hello, I am a Malfoy--I am not at Hogwarts to study cabinetry, what do you want from me?



The Three Broomsticks

[Because there's no better place than the local pub to spill booze on your students, make out where your brother can see, or fail to get people to kill Dumbledore.]
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HERMIONE: AUGH MY SWEATER

RON: AUGH MY SISTER

HARRY: AUGH MY CHEST MONSTER

KATIE BELL: *HEADSPIN*
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[Note: When a classmate is crucified mid-air by nothing in particular and then dropped on her ass from a great height, the best course of action is to stare and do nothing.]



McGonagall's Office

MCGONAGALL: So, this Katie Bell thing--

HARRY: I'm telling you, IT'S MALFOY.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
MCGONAGALL: Potter, if we believed you right now, there wouldn't be a movie. I thought you understood how these things work!



How We Know Who Harry Should Really Be With

[Quidditch Captain Harry [NOW WITH DECENT CGI ACTION!] is trying to run tryouts, except that everyone else wants to horse around and measure broomsticks and confund Ron's rival, Hottie McGrabfast. What, Hermione? Did you say something? Yeah, I didn't think--)

GINNY: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

[*crickets*]
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: ... That's hot.



Slughorn's Dinner Party

HARRY: Ginny! She's late! And crying! I am totally going to assume her boyfriend is out of the picture--GINNY! GINNY I HAVE SAVED PROFITEROLES FOR YOU!

SEXFACE McFINGERLICK: Hey baby. You so fine, baby.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HERMIONE: *shudder*



Pillow Talk

RON: Girls have... skin.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: Well, most of them do.

RON: Hermione's is... pretty nice. I mean... if you're into that. Skin, and all.

HARRY: Yeah... Ginny's is... also... reasonably... adequate. You know... like yours.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
RON: ... I don't want to talk about this anymore.



The Big Day

[Goalkeeper Ron is about to vomit on his geometrical eggtoast and Harry may or may not have spiked his juice, but the important thing is that Luna is wearing a lion on her head.]






The Big Night

[After a lot of phallic goalie posturing with his broomstick, Ron is carried back to Gryffindor Tower a hero, where he TOTALLY STEALS HARRY AND GINNY'S KISS, THANKS and claims Lavender Brown as his groupie.]

HERMIONE: I've been occasionally awkward with him for five movies, Harry! In between all the scenes that were mostly about you and me being BFF, it did happen a few times! I took another boy to the Yule Ball to make him mad! I CHEATED FOR HIM, HARRY. Only you can understand my pain! HOLD ME.

RON: Hey, remember that last movie, when I actually got to say something besides--

HERMIONE: *CANARIAL VENGEANCE*
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
RON: BLOODY HELL!



The Library

HERMIONE: LET ME TELL YOU, HOGWARTS, HOW DEEPLY I DO NOT CARE THAT RONALD IS SNOGGING SOMEONE ELSE.



Slughorn's Christmas Party

[So Hermione takes Beef McAbcrunch because she's pissed at Ron and Harry takes Luna because Luna is awesome, and anyone who is not Ron Weasley anyone is there at the biggest party of the year.]
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: Neville, what are you doing?

NEVILLE: Well, Professor Slughorn said... if I wanted any screentime in the movie at all... I could serve drinks at his party.

HARRY: Oh, Neville.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[However, it's a very productive evening for Harry, who helps Hermione escape Buff McSmarmalots, gets Hunk McTouchyfeel to throw up on Snape's shoes, sees a Malfoy thrown out for gatecrashing, and eavesdrop-confirms that Snape and Malfoy are up to something.]



The Burrow

LUPIN: NO THEY ARE NOT UP TO ANYTHING HARRY THAT IS RIDICULOUS WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO BITTER AND ANGRY????
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
TONKS: Sweetheart, I told you not to forget your Werewolf Midol.

[Meanwhile, Ginny is putting things in Harry's mouth and getting down on her knees because Ginevra Molly Weasley has some moves, let me tell you.]

LUPIN [sniffing]: SOMETHING IS AFOOT!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
TONKS: MY MULLET SENSES IT AS WELL!

[And suddenly Bellatrix and Pedowolf are there but I guess they forgot to bring any Carrows or whatever and Harry bolts after her for great Sirius-killing justice and Bellatrix throws a circle of fire around the house so no one can go help him and Tonks and Lupin sort of dance around unsure of what to do, maybe we should try to go after him, I mean you know he is kind of the Chosen One and he gets a bit crazy over the whole Sirius thing, I don't know, my mullet is a bit concerned, well I don't know why it's concerned now, you weren't even watching him at the beginning of the movie like you were supposed to, look here, my screentime was given to Luna, you really can't blame me for that, and besides, fire is kind of hot and that is your nice jacket after all, I mean, werewolves don't bring in a lot of money, what are we going to do if you scorch it, yes but someone really ought to go out there and HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S GINNY FUCKING WEASLEY!]
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[Ginny and Harry kind of cower in the Weasley cornswamp until the adults come save them. Then Bellatrix burns down the Weasleys' house.]



Back at Hogwarts

[The Weasleys are presumably homeless now and Hedwig is a bit charred, but it's all okay because Lavender's giving Won-Won a really ugly necklace.]



Dumbledore's Office

DUMBLEDORE: Harry, this is the false memory that you must retrieve the correct version of. I must warn you, however, that it is very disturbing, as Babyface Tom Riddle's voice is unexpectedly deep.


The Pensieve

BABYFACE TOM RIDDLE: Can you only mumble the mumble blah? I mean, wouldn't mumble whatsit be blibbity blah?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SLUGHORN: Blah? My GOD, Tom, they'll have to split the last blee into mumbledyblah at that rate! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW!



All the Other Flashbacks Explaining Anything About Tom Riddle
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[These scenes have been cut for time.]



The Potions Classroom

HARRY: So, Professor Slughorn... if I were Tom Riddle and you were going to tell me how to be evil, what would you say?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: *facepalm*



Slughorn's Office

HARRY: HELP HELP it's a really long story but there was a girl but not the right girl and some chocolates but they were poisoned and they were for me but I didn't eat them and--
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SLUGHORN: Oh, this Wembley of yours, his antics are delightful!

HARRY: HELP ME DAMMIT

SLUGHORN: Falling off the sofa, trying to molest me--

HARRY: ARRRGH

SLUGHORN: Look, he's foaming at the mouth! I've never seen anything funnier!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: *BEZOAR*



The Hospital Wing

RON: Unnnnghhhhh... Hermione... skin... so adequate...

LAVENDER: *DESPAIR*

SLUGHORN: ô_O
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SNAPE: (X^(



Parting, Such Sweet Sorrow, Etc.

RON: So... what exactly did I say to Lavender? And why was she outside Gryffindor Tower last night holding a radio over her head?



Shootout at the Lavatory Corral

[Convinced that Draco cursed Katie Bell--well, I mean... even moreso than he was convinced before?--Harry follows him to a lavatory where he catches Draco weeping like a toddler BEING SENSITIVE, OKAY and they start fighting so, so dirty in such a clean, clean place. Unf.

HARRY: SPELL I'VE NEVER USED BEFORE!

DRACO: <~BLOODGUSH~>

HARRY: ... oh shit.

[Snape tenderly uses his wand to nurse Draco back to health, and a thousand hurt-comfort fics spontaneously spring into being.]



The Room of Requirement

GINNY: Okay, this book is BAD TOUCH and DO NOT WANT. We have to get rid of it.

HARRY: Hey, is that a diadem up there?

GINNY: NO. However, if you would be interested in some good touch...



Fifteen Very, Very Slooooow Minutes Later

HARRY: THAT'S IT? HIDE AND SEEK AND A TINY SMOOCH?

GINNY: *gives him a birthday IOU*

HARRY: ... ooh.



Luck Be a Liquid Tonight
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HERMIONE: So we have a plan, right? You're going to drink the Felix Felicis, track down Slughorn after dinner, and then...



Five Minutes Later
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: IT'S A GIANT SPIDER FUNERAL AND YOU'RE INVITED!!



Ten Minutes Later

SLUGHORN: Alas, Aragog, I... have no idea who he is, except that he's bloody huge and poaching his venom will make me a lot of money. Rest in peace, fair pincered one.






Eleven Minutes Later

HAGRID AND SLUGHORN [completely toasted]:

And Aragog the spider, they dug a big hole
In the forest he'd known as an egg
Crammed in like a big bristly profiterole
Then his pincer fell off, and his leeeeeeeeeeeg.

HARRY: *standing ovation*



Fifteen Minutes Later

HARRY: So if you don't tell us what really happened, my mother the fish will never come back! EVER!

SLUGHORN: *sobs*



Dumbledore's Office

HARRY: *VICTORY LAP*


The Pensieve

BABYFACE TOM RIDDLE: Can you only split the soul once? I mean, wouldn't seven plot points be a lot harder to track down?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SLUGHORN: Seven? My GOD, Tom, they'll have to split the last book into two movies at that rate!

BABYFACE TOM RIDDLE: But could it be done?

SLUGHORN: Well, I mean, sure, but you'd have to kill a bunch of people and round up a whole lot of plot points--

BABYFACE TOM RIDDLE: Not to worry--I have a number of famous and/or personally meaningful objects I'm planning to use.

SLUGHORN: But... won't that make it easier for your enemies to guess what they are? Instead of using, I don't know--a rusty old key and a snail you found on the sidewalk?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
BABYFACE TOM RIDDLE: Yes, but, you see, we're not going to show any of the flashbacks that tell you those objects are important.

SLUGHORN: ... your genius is terrifying.


DUMBLEDORE: My God--it's diabolical. Two movies! They will literally make twice as much money!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: Oh, a good bit more than that, I'd think, by the time you re-release the first one when the second one comes out, and then there's IMAX--

SNAPE: Excuse me, POTTER, I was hoping to have a cryptically bitchy conversation with the headmaster.

DUMBLEDORE: Severus, please. No one's allowed to question my wisdom in this movie.



The Cave of JEWELRY DOOM

DUMBLEDORE: Now, Harry: I must ask you to give me your word that no matter what happens, you will do as I say. If I must cut my hand instead of yours, if you have to feed me poison until I gibber and scream for death, if I forget who I am and what the hell we're even doing here--you must do as I say. Except for the part where I ask you to actually kill me. You can probably skip that.
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[Harry obeys. The only problem is, by the time a thousand zombie Gollums show up to eat Harry, Dumbledore's a bit... out of it. Fortunately, he remembers his wizardness, or at least someone's wizardness, in time to whip up a firestorm and get them the hell out of there:]

DUMBLEDALF: YOUUUUU! SHALL NOT! PAAAAAASS!

HARRY: NO! SIR! WE REALLY, REALLY WANT TO PASS!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDALF: Really? We do?

HARRY: YES, REALLY!



The Part Where the Villain Talks Too Much (I)

[You know what would be fantastic? If Harry and Dumbledore got back to the Astronomy Tower and Draco chose right then to man up.]

DUMBLEDORE: No matter what happens, stay downstairs like a mouthbreather and do nothing.

HARRY: ...?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Exactly.
S'up, Draco?

DRACO: I am here to kill you, Professor. Whenever I feel like it. Any moment now.

DUMBLEDORE: You are no assassin, Draco.

DRACO: YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I CURSED KATIE BELL TO TAKE A NECKLACE THAT MIGHT EVENTUALLY GET TO YOU! I MADE SURE THAT MEAD THAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE GIVEN AWAY BY HORACE SLUGHORN WAS POISONED! I SPENT A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME SCREWING AROUND WITH CABINETS!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
DUMBLEDORE: Draco... these actions are so convoluted and weak that I cannot help but feel that you are perhaps a bit of a pussy.

[Before Draco can actually get pissed off enough to do the deed, Bellatrix bounces in with Fenrir and some Carrows, kissing Draco on the ear because the Blacks keep it aaaaaall in the family. And then they all stand back and watch expectantly.]

DRACO: What the hell! I worked on fixing that cabinet ALL YEAR! Me, a MALFOY! Don't you have some kids to fight or something!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
BELLATRIX: Oh, Draco... we just came along for moral support!



Snape Kills Dumbledore, Page 606, Totally True

SNAPE: Shhhhh.

HARRY: Oh, so you've got this one, then? Excellent, you go take care of that. I mean, I know I never trusted you, and you've always been kind of a bastard to me just for existing, and this is not even to speak of the part we left out where you're the reason my parents actually got killed, but it's good to know that when the chips are down--
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SNAPE: AVADA KEDAVRA!

HARRY: WHAT



The Part Where the Villain Talks Too Much (II)

[Bellatrix takes her sweet-ass time kicking over the dinner plates and busting up the windows and skipping through the woods and dancing around Hagrid's flaming hut while Draco, Fenrir, and some Carrows stroll on down the hill.]

HARRY: YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH!!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SNAPE: Are all Carrows present and accounted for!

HARRY: HE TRUSTED YOUUUUU!!

SNAPE: Bellatrix, if you really don't mind, we need to step lively here--

HARRY: SOMEWHAT INEXPLICABLY I ALSO TRUSTED YOUUUUU!!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
SNAPE: BELLATRIX, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR MARSHMALLOWS

HARRY: SECTUMSEMPRA!!

SNAPE: Bitch, please.

HARRY: ARRRRGH

SNAPE: *eyeroll*
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: *FALLS DOWN*

SNAPE: Look, do you mind? Yes, I am the Half-Blood Prince, and I just killed my only friend and I've got my hands full here with Prince Valiant and the pedowolf and however many Carrows we're up to now--BELLA! I said LET'S ROLL!



The Part That's Really Sad
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
[Harry weeps over Dumbledore's lifeless body, Ginny holds him, and McGonagall leads the students in throwing up their lighters wands to dispel the Dark Mark. This is either a heartbreaking tribute or the worst outdoor concert ever.]



The Part Where Dumbledore Usually Explains It All

MCGONAGALL: But Harry, what about the "half" and the "blood" and the "prince"? No one ever said what that means!
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: *THE HAND*



The Astronomy Tower, Post Mortem

HARRY: So Snape killed Dumbledore, I stood there and watched, the locket is fake, I don't know who has it, and it was all for nothing.

RON: Well, we could go back and check the rest of the movie for blatant references to seemingly random people--

NO ONE: *listens to Ron*

HERMIONE: lol don't snog Ginny too much k?
© 2009 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com
HARRY: WOMAN! DUMBLEDORE IS DEAD! I HAVE TO LEAVE MY ONLY HOME AND WANDER THE WORLD TO FIND THE OTHER HORCRUXES! FOCUS!



All the Flashbacks That Give Harry Any Idea of Where He Should Go or What He Should Do

[Sing it if you know the words.]



Fin.


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Comments
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eliz From: eliz Date: July 26th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC) (Link)
YES YES YES YES YES!!!

Made of WIN, made of WIN.

Excuse me while I go catch my breath...
ugg_classic From: ugg_classic Date: June 26th, 2010 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)
I know someone like you!
cleo_eurydike From: cleo_eurydike Date: July 26th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
YESSSSSSSSSSS. I HAVE MISSED THESE
sajo127 From: sajo127 Date: July 27th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
your icon....alvin & the chipmunks movie? where they go around the world in hot air balloons?
coldxxheritage From: coldxxheritage Date: July 26th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC) (Link)
HAHAH HELL YES
toujourss From: toujourss Date: July 27th, 2009 01:29 am (UTC) (Link)
ICON (L)(L)(L)(L)
reynardine From: reynardine Date: July 26th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
HIS HAIR IS PLATINUM AND SO ARE HIS CREDIT CARDS--SQUIB, DON'T YOU TOUCH HIS CANE, THAT IS 24-KARAT PIMP

*dies*

Perfect, perfect!
ladydragon543 From: ladydragon543 Date: July 26th, 2009 06:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee! I squeed when I saw this.

Methinks miss Cleo is TOTALLY IN THE MOST GQMF COMM ON THIS SITE, Y/Y? (ONTD_Startrek, whut?)
last_archangel From: last_archangel Date: July 26th, 2009 02:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Fantabulous as always!
surrounds From: surrounds Date: July 26th, 2009 02:57 am (UTC) (Link)
AHH PURELY AMAZING!
stargatejunkie From: stargatejunkie Date: July 26th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
May I just say that ILU? ♥! I saw the movie late last night and this is totally awesome and sums it up in a nutshell. :D
bibliotech From: bibliotech Date: July 26th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
*holds up wand*
riddledfate From: riddledfate Date: July 26th, 2009 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)
*seconds this*
From: lumaria Date: July 26th, 2009 02:59 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm only just at the Draco GQ Motherfucker part, but I'm dying!
stockholmvictim From: stockholmvictim Date: July 26th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes, I never thought I would consider Draco to be GQMF material, but ah! How wrong I have been!
fineprnt From: fineprnt Date: July 26th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh. Wow.
Your use of the GQMF meme has made my night.

That and the fact that THERE IS A NEW M15M, Y'ALL.
be_themoon From: be_themoon Date: July 26th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG SO FUNNY YAAAY!

WHEREEEE DID YOU GET THE PINCER PICTURE

OMG THE PINCERS

Bellatrix bounces in with Fenrir and some Carrows, kissing Draco on the ear because the Blacks keep it aaaaaall in the family.

This explains SO MUCH.
gryffinwhore From: gryffinwhore Date: July 26th, 2009 03:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Have you seen the GIF yet?

From: pygmymetal Date: July 26th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
RON: So... what exactly did I say to Lavender? And why was she outside Gryffindor Tower last night holding a wireless over her head?

Best. Part. Ever.
fenm From: fenm Date: July 26th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC) (Link)
I have to admit I don't get that one...
litcrit42 From: litcrit42 Date: July 26th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC) (Link)
HAHAHAHA
BELLATRIX WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR MARSHMALLOWS.
This was my favorite scene in the movie and now it's better.
arden_ranger From: arden_ranger Date: July 26th, 2009 03:01 am (UTC) (Link)
HARRY: *THE HAND*

ha!

Brilliantly done, as always.
padawansguide From: padawansguide Date: July 26th, 2009 03:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Great job! [The rest of this comment cut for time.]

:-)
demonoflight From: demonoflight Date: July 26th, 2009 03:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Fantabulous!

And the best of all: marshmallows! =D =D =D
wumbawoman From: wumbawoman Date: July 26th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Bravo!
city_speak From: city_speak Date: July 26th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I THINK I LOVE YOU.
skybreak_seeker From: skybreak_seeker Date: July 26th, 2009 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
LOOK AT THIS GQ MOTHERFUCKER, GODDAMN

You, madam, have officially won the internet.
blue_ant From: blue_ant Date: July 26th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
This! That was probably my favorite part.
spartydragon From: spartydragon Date: July 26th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Epic. Win.
aestas From: aestas Date: July 26th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)
I...love you.
meredith_mae From: meredith_mae Date: July 26th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Aw, I remember when you did PoA. *sniff* My, how time flies.
mustang_bex1126 From: mustang_bex1126 Date: July 27th, 2009 04:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha- Right? I was like "aw... remember when?" I still have to use those icons because the Man-Love and such from that movie will NEVER DIE IN MY HEART!

Thanks Cleo for making rather mundane Monday more tollerable.
theelusiven From: theelusiven Date: July 26th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Weasley and Weasley's Plot Point Emporium? Perfect.
aestas From: aestas Date: July 26th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Secondly, who has the gif of Pincers Harry? Because I would really love it.
city_speak From: city_speak Date: July 26th, 2009 03:16 am (UTC) (Link)
I LOVE IT.

Photobucket
une_pomme_folle From: une_pomme_folle Date: July 26th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC) (Link)
I was hoping there would be another one soon!
This is fantastic!
631 comments or Leave a comment
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