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Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 2
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes
Before we start: I seem to be nominated for a thing! (And so are copperbadge and otterdance!) My name is misspelled, and Neil Gaiman will probably crush us all, but I've never been nominated for a thing before, so that's pretty awesome. Voting ends on--4/15, I think?

So. PREVIOUSLY ON MOVIES IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, FOR REASONS THAT WILL LATER BE APPARENT: TroyKing Arthur! 300! A couple of Twilight things! So... here's a palate cleanser before Eclipse, I guess.

She's going to spank me?Collapse )

Site Meter (Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

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Current Mood: productive productive

199 comments or Leave a comment
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chris_walsh From: chris_walsh Date: April 11th, 2010 10:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
*imagines a picture of Io with the caption "BABY GOT BACKSTORY"*
lost_garnet From: lost_garnet Date: April 11th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
kuchiutsushi From: kuchiutsushi Date: April 11th, 2010 10:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Jawbacca was the best character in the movie.

Awesome as always!
apiphile From: apiphile Date: April 11th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwahhaa, I just saw this today. OH GOD WAS IT STUPID-LONG AND NOT AS GOOD AS THIS RECAP. Argh.
deepbluemermaid From: deepbluemermaid Date: April 11th, 2010 11:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is just hilarious. You rock :)
drpeprfan From: drpeprfan Date: April 11th, 2010 11:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Is this clashing?" YES. I saw the trailer again a few days ago and snorfled at "Titans Will Clash" for this exact reason.

This may just be my love for Greek mythology speaking, but...new favorite M15M, for sure! I lost it after the first "Mount Olympus" scene. Your explanation for Thetis' absence was awesome.

Also, the scene with the (I'd say it was pegasi) "horsybirds" was hilarious. I think Badass the Destroyer is BFFs with Trodgor. Plus, you win at life for managing to reference Star Trek (redskirt! ha!), Star Wars, Pirates, King Arthur, and Avatar all in the same M15M. So much love for this. :)
neko_chan From: neko_chan Date: April 14th, 2010 04:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Plus Harry Potter, Twilight, and LotR refs! Count me impressed.
filigree10 From: filigree10 Date: April 11th, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Great stuff!
litlover12 From: litlover12 Date: April 11th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Did your cloak just ... sprout a Muppet?"

BWAHAHA! This one was awesome! (Like they're ever not awesome!)
cmdr_zoom From: cmdr_zoom Date: April 11th, 2010 11:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
That Speech The Hero Always Gives
wenelda From: wenelda Date: April 11th, 2010 11:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
PERSEUS: What is this fluffy-bunny Lisa Frank bullshit! I DON'T WANT A PONY!

That was the point where I pretty much lost it for a good five minutes.
killiara From: killiara Date: April 11th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Laughing forever over
HADES [picking scenery out of teeth]: By the way, there's a new demigod running around in Argos.

© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

chris_walsh From: chris_walsh Date: April 12th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

Cleo has gods speaking on her behalf now! Nice! *awaits net-thieves' smiting*
bienegold From: bienegold Date: April 11th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love the original way too much to watch this, but I <3 the recap!

kynekh_amagire From: kynekh_amagire Date: April 11th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Zeus is a dick. Hades kills Perseus's family, prompting him to go on a mad suicidal quest for vengeance, and Zeus as a thank-you note for restoring(?) humanity's love in the gods or whatever brings back Exposition Chick back from the dead? Seriously, they chatted together in two scenes. I think Percy'd rather have his baby sister back, don't you?

Not to mention, the only thing Io actually says about herself (you know, when she's not being The Exposition) is that she hates being immortal and it really sucks watching everyone die all the time.


So at least they got that mythology angle on straight. :> The Olympic Pantheon = assholes.
sharpenedyaks From: sharpenedyaks Date: April 12th, 2010 12:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Well, Zeus is always trying to get it on with anything that moves...he prolly figures his son is the same way (at least that's how I took his "after all, you're a son of Zeus" line).
sfulton229 From: sfulton229 Date: April 11th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh this is priceless! Thanks for posting this; very enjoyable! I would bet this is better than the movie and goes by much faster! Terrific!
lost_garnet From: lost_garnet Date: April 11th, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Perseus pops up out of the boss scorpion like a stripper out of the worst birthday cake ever.

Best part.
bistyboo1974 From: bistyboo1974 Date: April 11th, 2010 11:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love it! As always. XD

Ixas, the older Hot Brother!

Don't you mean Ixas, Archbishop of Canterbury? ;)

Edited at 2010-04-11 11:58 pm (UTC)
havocs_roman From: havocs_roman Date: April 12th, 2010 12:03 am (UTC) (Link)
LOL, Hades' giant font and "NO, I THINK I'M RELATED TO HIM/BUT THANKS"! Also, "Are we clashing yet? Is this clashing?" right under that sparkly!armour and inquisitive!Hades pic is cracking me up so much I don't even know.

Hee, unexpected Marble Adonis.

Hee/LOL/YAY to everything, really. :D Thanks!

cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: April 12th, 2010 02:09 am (UTC) (Link)
I was afraid the centered giant font bit was too much like THE EARTH from the previous two things, but seriously, that's what that whole scene is LIKE. I nearly fell over laughing.

I'm very pleased with my two Subtlest Twilight Jokes Ever. If you hate hearing about Twilight, you won't notice them anyway!
lunarwhirl From: lunarwhirl Date: April 12th, 2010 12:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Awesome! I've been wanting to see this movie.

Also, the line "Perseus pops up out of the boss scorpion like a stripper out of the worst birthday cake ever" killed me a little. XD
kudzita From: kudzita Date: April 12th, 2010 12:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Man, the kraken is the Cloverfield monster.

Also, this is win.
biomekanic From: biomekanic Date: April 12th, 2010 12:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Hey Cleo?...

Is "© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com" supposed to be there every 8 lines?

I don't remember seeing that before, and I'm sorry to complain but it makes it tough for me to read. I'm a "chunk" reader and I keep ramming right into that.

Is it supposed to be there or is LJ and/or IE doing something weird?

ETA: Must be something on my machine, because my GF reports that she only sees them if she highlights something.

Edited at 2010-04-12 12:19 am (UTC)
aliaspiral From: aliaspiral Date: April 12th, 2010 12:30 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hey Cleo?...

Yeah, that should be invisible unless you highlight. It's an anti-theft thing, to keep folks from ganking it easily and claiming they wrote it.
anilecia From: anilecia Date: April 12th, 2010 12:27 am (UTC) (Link)
This is totally making me want to see the movie now, even though I've heard that it's pretty lame.
auroraceleste From: auroraceleste Date: April 12th, 2010 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm a little sad that you didn't go into the Io connundrum :( It kept us entertained for the entire movie :P

Io introduces herself

*whispers to SO*: Wow, I must misremember my Greek history more than I thought. I thought Io was a cow.

*SO, loudly*: SHE WAS!

It goes on that not only was she a cow, she was turned into a cow by Hera for being seduced by Zeus, and her father's name was coopted to be Angry King Not-Dad's name when they mention it. So the end of the movie is incredibly interesting:

*Zeus*: So, here, I give you back your cow-half-sister. Don't worry, I already hit that, you're in for a treat.
slippery_fish From: slippery_fish Date: April 12th, 2010 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
*snickersnorts* Awesome!
lucylooo From: lucylooo Date: April 12th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC) (Link)
I am ded of laff. I still cannot believe they put Liam Neeson in sparkle armour. I wonder if they paid Stef a royalty for that bullshit?
dontcrosscross From: dontcrosscross Date: April 12th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
oh man is that a Rome reference? :D
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cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: April 12th, 2010 02:16 am (UTC) (Link)
Stealth Twilight joke! Because seriously, I really was sitting there like, she watched him WASH UP ON THE BEACH as a baby, and followed him around all his life, apparently, and now she's all into that? UM NO.

I really was not sure how many people would get a Jethro Tull reference, but what the hell, go for the gusto. There really IS a funny bit involving a flute in the movie, I'm not making that up.
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