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Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 4
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes
Before we start: I seem to be nominated for a thing! (And so are copperbadge and otterdance!) My name is misspelled, and Neil Gaiman will probably crush us all, but I've never been nominated for a thing before, so that's pretty awesome. Voting ends on--4/15, I think?

So. PREVIOUSLY ON MOVIES IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, FOR REASONS THAT WILL LATER BE APPARENT: TroyKing Arthur! 300! A couple of Twilight things! So... here's a palate cleanser before Eclipse, I guess.

She's going to spank me?Collapse )

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199 comments or Leave a comment
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thatjennyj From: thatjennyj Date: April 12th, 2010 07:48 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't hear great things about this movie so I havnt seen it. But now I don't feel like I need to, this was hilarious! Awesome job!
sualocin From: sualocin Date: April 12th, 2010 07:54 am (UTC) (Link)
omg yay!

And I love the pony. Mostly because whenever I think of it it is a unicorn. Yay! Thank you Cleo!
jainadurron From: jainadurron Date: April 12th, 2010 08:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwaha. Another awesome one. Loved the subtle Twilight jokes, and the pirate hat. Especially the pirate hat. And the stripper scorpion.

Off to vote for you. :D
ladyjestyr From: ladyjestyr Date: April 12th, 2010 08:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Don't lie, this was the writer's bible for the movie, right?

(Brilliant, brilliant stuff. :D)
shu_shu_sleeps From: shu_shu_sleeps Date: April 12th, 2010 08:58 am (UTC) (Link)
This is fabulous - really good rollicking fun. Thank you.
renne From: renne Date: April 12th, 2010 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I was pretty sure the Kraken was just what Cloverfield was doing in the good old days.
From: silmaril Date: April 13th, 2010 02:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
One of the people I went to see this with thinks so, too.
emsana From: emsana Date: April 12th, 2010 09:39 am (UTC) (Link)
AWESOME! Totally was going to watch this film but got the zobiefluplague and couldn't so this more than makes up for it!!

I'm also so glad they managed to butcher not only Greek but also Scandinavian, Islamic, and Hindu (from what I hear Medussa is pretty much a nāga) Mythology in less than two hours. That takes some skill. :P
hattergems From: hattergems Date: April 12th, 2010 11:36 am (UTC) (Link)
© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

© 2010 Cleolinda Jones. Please quote or link back, do not repost. cleolinda.livejournal.com

Reading that so many times really threw me off. :( I'm disappointed in the people on the internet that steal your work and make you put a copyright on it. Loved the awesomer-than-movie recap though! :D
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: April 12th, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, ideally that should be invisible, white font on white background, but I know that not everyone uses a white background. (I keep hoping they'll view the entry in the community style rather than their own, but they shouldn't have to.) I just don't know what else to do to try to discourage people from taking my stuff.
youngcurmudgeon From: youngcurmudgeon Date: April 12th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

All of this was awesome, but the last few lines made me giggle out loud, because, Zeus. Eeeee!
dj_spider From: dj_spider Date: April 12th, 2010 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

I can't stop giggling
velessa From: velessa Date: April 12th, 2010 06:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROFL Hero License to Ride Things, I love it!! XD

Great work as always!
From: whatfuckery Date: April 12th, 2010 06:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was awesome! I saw the movie with a few people from my mythology class and we basically snarked on the same things.

Two things:
1. It's Argives, not Argosians. (Sorry, we've covered Grecian identities pretty thoroughly by now.)
2. Can I email my professor the link to this? I'm sure he would enjoy it.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: April 13th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I know (I did see that while looking things up on Wikipedia). I also referred to "Naboovians" in Star Wars, so I just like making things up.

Sure! Just let him know that I made that up on purpose. : )
krispy_kream From: krispy_kream Date: April 12th, 2010 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
omg This was the funniest parody of a movie I haven't seen yet! ♥ (I just thought I would make a note of it. Since, you know, that is very impressive since I technically don't get half the jokes)
pervert_bitch From: pervert_bitch Date: April 12th, 2010 09:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
pervert_bitch From: pervert_bitch Date: April 13th, 2010 01:17 am (UTC) (Link)
BTW, something I always wondered... why in the movies (both original and on this one) call Cetus, the Kraken?
kittenpants From: kittenpants Date: April 12th, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

"...and then Jawbacca looks into her eyes but he can do that because he's made of driftwood instead of flesh because they totally have driftwood in the desert and then he pulls open his robe and his electric blue heart explodes on Medusa because... what?]"

Well, DUH, it's because desert-dwelling people who wear robes and speak foreign languages are all suicide bombers. ::headdesk::

"ZEUS: Son, that's really a bit too close to bestiality for me."

For extra bonus irony, read the Greek myths about Zeus and Io. Oh, I'll just cut to the punch line: Zeus turned her into a cow in order to have sex with her.
gakdragon From: gakdragon Date: January 29th, 2011 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, DUH, it's because desert-dwelling people who wear robes and speak foreign languages are all suicide bombers. ::headdesk::

OMG!! This was just as funny as the parody itself!
(no subject) - bolissa - Expand
princekermit From: princekermit Date: April 12th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nicely done.
malenky_devil From: malenky_devil Date: April 12th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Solon, the older guy I spent half the movie thinking might somehow be Bernard Hill!

arizona_jones From: arizona_jones Date: April 13th, 2010 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)
I... I really feel as though I need an icon of the "BITE ME, CAT BOY" part, 'cause I lol'd forever XDDD

This parody makes me feel a lot better about having spent ten bucks on seeing it, hah. ♥
jupiter_star From: jupiter_star Date: April 13th, 2010 11:14 am (UTC) (Link)
HOORAY, I didn't hallucinate Io's wigged-out Muppet cloak! VINDICATION!!!
From: silmaril Date: April 13th, 2010 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I spent half the movie thinking that guy was Bernard Hill, too. I don't quite know why.

I suspect my forehead has permanent palm prints from every time Perseus stupidly refused Zeus' gifts or whined about "doing this as a man." Yeah, not going to happen.

Thank you. I totally needed all these laughs.
(Deleted comment)
granamyr From: granamyr Date: April 13th, 2010 08:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Argosian = Argive.
feygirl82 From: feygirl82 Date: April 13th, 2010 10:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Did they really bring IO back? This movie sounds like an OMGWTFBBQ.
I think I'll just stick with your version. The real movie might make me have an aneurysm in the theater....
Did you see it in 3D? I heard that was awful
darkfrog24 From: darkfrog24 Date: April 14th, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
YAY, parody goodness!

In some places, it's hard to tell what you mean. When Draco says "Awesome," it's not clear whether he's sarcastic or not.

No, but you put me in front of that kraken, I can fish the shit out of it.

Hee hee hee.

Is it sad that "they've got air conditioner vents instead of faces" makes me think "Hm, maybe I should see it after all"?
crypticidentity From: crypticidentity Date: April 15th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I had the exact same feeling. So in any case, you're not the only one.
199 comments or Leave a comment
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