June 2nd, 2004

msauvage purple

Frequently Asked Questions

Updated July 3, 2004.

Since it would be much more appropriate over here:

Who? What? Why?

Well, I started posting Movies in Fifteen Minutes at my personal journal, cleolinda, and I friended everyone back because, you know, that's fun, and then... I ran out of space. So apparently communities have a lot more room for members. Which is why I've moved the Fifteen Minutes over here. I probably won't post the Fifteen Minutes at cleolinda anymore, but I will definitely say, "Hey, guys, I posted something new at m15m, here's a link!" So you're covered no matter which one you've friended.

What are you going to post on this community?

Primarily the Fifteen Minutes, and any icons I make, and possibly news or questions relating to them ("So, where did you hear about Movies in Fifteen Minutes?"). I reserve the right to post anything I want, basically. Also, no one can post new entries but me--you can comment till the cows come home, however.

Where are the other "Fifteen Minutes"?

Go forward to "next entry" or go to the Memories section for an alphabetical sorting. If you join or friend the community, the next "Fifteen Minutes," whatever it may be, will show up on your friends list.

Can I join this community?

No. I created it so I could sit and stare at it. YES, YOU CAN JOIN THE COMMUNITY.

Why did you lock the community?

Rampant plagiarism, anonymous flames, and general asshattery. Icon are still free for the taking as always, and icon and announcement posts will remain unlocked. Each time I post a locked "Fifteen Minutes" entry, I will post an unlocked "Hey, there's a new 'Fifteen Minutes'" announcement, just to be safe. My intention is not to keep people from reading the parodies (anyone can join the community), but to make it harder for random passersby to drop in, copy & paste the text to another web page, and then claim they can't remember who wrote it.

I'm having trouble getting to the locked entries. What do I do?

Make sure you've joined the community, not just friended it. Even after you've joined, it may also take a few minutes to kick in, so refresh a little, or log in/log out of LJ and see if that doesn't help. That's all you'll need to do to be able to read the locked entries and comment.

Can I friend cleolinda, for all my random-chick thesis-angsting needs?

Sure thing. I may or may not be able to friend you back, though, depending on how many readers have completely forsaken that journal for this one.

Can I link to your journal or send things to my friends?

I am a total link whore. If you want to print the stuff out and pass it out to strangers on the street I don't care, just as long as it has "Cleolinda Jones" somewhere on it. That said, please try not to copy and paste the entire thing onto message boards. Not because I care, but because these things are like 20 pages in Word and your fellow posters will thank you later for not doing that. A link and maybe a snippet will get the point across just as well.

Are you reading all these comments?

Every single one. I have email notification to my Yahoo address turned on. I'm trying to answer the ones that ask specific questions, but trust me, I read all of them and I appreciate everything everyone's said and I wish I could reply to them all, but Troy alone now has something like 600 comments back at my cleolinda journal. I'm not even getting to reply to as many comments as I'd like, so I'm trying to set aside more time for that. I hate to issue a message of mass gratitude, but--thank you, to everyone, for all the nice things you've said.

Can I take icons you made?

Yes, of course you can take them. In fact, I encourage you to make your own, because I am not terribly l33t with the Photoshop yet, and bring 'em back and share them with everyone else.

Why are you making fun of these movies? Did you hate them that much?

I think I mentioned this on a previous entry, but it's worth repeating: I don't think that the funny should be reserved for things we hate. Let's face it, the Lord of the Rings movies are freakin' hilarious, and tons of parodies have been written about them. Does that mean that people hate them? On the contrary! And I've enjoyed all the movies I've done so far. Besides, movies as a medium are just funny, sometimes--they can't always be bastions of realism because they're movies, no matter how good they are, and not v. v. serious 10-hour documentaries. Think of it as "making fun" rather than "mocking until the movie goes home crying to its mommy," and with emphasis on the "fun."

May I worship you/fangirl you/bear your children?

I am flattered. Deeply flattered. However, it is only fair to remind you that half these jokes write themselves. Come on--"Hector smash"? That was there, dude. That said, the nicest things you can ever do for any writer are 1) recommend her work and 2) read more of it. Which most of you have already told me you're doing. (cough blackribbon hack dailydigestmovienews wheeze shortattentionspantheater cough. Sorry about that. Hairball.) P.S. Vladimir the Official Squishy would like you to step off his Cleo, he told me to tell you.

Can I write my own Movie in Fifteen Minutes?

My gut reaction is "OMG DUN STEEL!" But--let's face it, I hardly invented the concept of movie parody, and I wasn't the first person by a long shot to use a dialogue/script format. So I can't really stop you, is what I'm saying. That said, I'd really like to keep hold of the name "Movies in Fifteen Minutes"/"[Blah] in Fifteen Minutes." Here's why:

CLEO: *writes "Troy in Fifteen Minutes"*

JANE: *reads it and writes her own "Troy in Fifteen Minutes"*

SOMEONE: Hey, who's that girl who writes the Fifteen Minutes things?


That's why.

If there's anything else you'd like to know, please ask in the comments. On the original FAQ entry I added, "Even if that question is 'Who the hell do you think you are?'" While you can still ask that, I'm thinking that by the time you're forced to create a community to deal with incoming traffic, the time for shyness is over. So, you know, enjoy, and I'll get out of your way now.

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Hannibal in Fifteen Minutes

Reposted from my journal, originally posted May 11:

Let's see if lightning strikes twice. Probably not, but since a few people asked if I'd done other movies, and this one is fresh in my mind froom Saturday night's airing on CBS...

With many thanks to The Movie Spoiler, which helped refresh my memory, I bring you: Hannibal in Fifteen Minutes.

Note: Lines with a single asterisk (asterisk*) are actual lines from the movie, because I can't make shit like this up.

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