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Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes - Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 5 — LiveJournal
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Clash of the Titans in Fifteen Minutes
Before we start: I seem to be nominated for a thing! (And so are copperbadge and otterdance!) My name is misspelled, and Neil Gaiman will probably crush us all, but I've never been nominated for a thing before, so that's pretty awesome. Voting ends on--4/15, I think?

So. PREVIOUSLY ON MOVIES IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, FOR REASONS THAT WILL LATER BE APPARENT: TroyKing Arthur! 300! A couple of Twilight things! So... here's a palate cleanser before Eclipse, I guess.

She's going to spank me?Collapse )

Site Meter (Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

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Current Mood: productive productive

189 comments or Leave a comment
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jettcat From: jettcat Date: April 12th, 2010 02:26 am (UTC) (Link)
*votes while reading and fangirling madly*
icewyche From: icewyche Date: April 12th, 2010 02:30 am (UTC) (Link)

[Now that the eclipse has started, you'd think they'd evacuate Argos, but there's eleventy thousand teenage girls rioting in front of the Odeon yelling something about a marble Adonis, I don't even know.]

mce86 From: mce86 Date: April 12th, 2010 02:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow that was amazing! I was viewing this entry not even two hours ago and there was only one comment at that time. Then I come back and there's a HUNDRED more! You are awesome Cleo.
serizawa3000 From: serizawa3000 Date: April 12th, 2010 02:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Is Zeus standing on a box in that one picture? And Ralph Fiennes looks like Peter Stormare...
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: April 12th, 2010 03:25 am (UTC) (Link)
All I know is, Liam Neeson is TALL. I don't know if they're standing on the steps (they could be), or if Ralph Fiennes is just hunched over (he was a good bit) or something.
cat_eyed_fox From: cat_eyed_fox Date: April 12th, 2010 03:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Everything was brilliant! I appreciate that you didn't try to fun up the already hilarious flute scene.
lyricalnights From: lyricalnights Date: April 12th, 2010 03:27 am (UTC) (Link)
DRACO: OKAY, LISTEN UP! Anything we're gonna need on this godsforsaken trip, you gotta pack it NOW. Swords, spears, shields, spare sandals, sixpack-shaped armor, all of it--okay, sure, Chatty Cathy can come. Yeah, I guess we have room for two comic relief guys you found in the street. No, leave the Prophet of Crazy here, he gives me the wig. No, I don't think you need to bring your Snuggie, we're going into THE DESERT. NO, I DON'T THINK THERE WILL BE WIFI FOR YOUR KINDLE--

The whole thing was lolsome, but this? I died of gigglesnort.
mcity From: mcity Date: April 12th, 2010 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)
>sparkle armor

Maybe he made it out of Edward Cullen!
ejia_arath03 From: ejia_arath03 Date: April 14th, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, let's hope so.
ningerbil From: ningerbil Date: April 12th, 2010 04:29 am (UTC) (Link)
That was brilliant. Just how do you write this stuff! I laughed until I cried. I just saw this stinker of a movie, so this made my evening! Thank you!
misachan From: misachan Date: April 12th, 2010 04:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Your description of Hadesmort almost makes me want to see this movie (although the disrespect to poor Bubo hurts my inner 9-year-old.) And "I love you, Not-Son, and I will love you for all five minutes of the rest of my life" made me sporfle. As did "But... he's got more chemistry with the ageless chick, and all your scenes with him got cut." Poor Andromeda! Getting blown off for Perseus' improbably immortal cow-sister!

laughingacademy From: laughingacademy Date: April 12th, 2010 05:04 am (UTC) (Link)
SOME REDSKIRT: You know, I'm really excited about going on a legendary adventure. I've always wanted to fight in a bunch of action scenes, get some really good closeups, come up with a catchphrase or something, maybe even end up with the princess's slightly less attractive handmaiden...

EUSEBIOS: Oh... man, I hate to break it to you, but...

IXAS: ... shhhhh. Let him dream.

Hee, I love it when the characters in your recaps are genre savvy.

Also hilarious:

MEDUSA'S HAIR: *pout pout pout pout pout*

I'm still trying to figure out why the filmmakers gave us Medusa's sad backstory and then followed it with "Right, let's kill the bitch!" Like, wow, editing FAIL.

I'm pretty sure the '09 version will be remembered, at best, as a footnote to Harryhausen's victory lap. It lacks the '81 version's whimsy, especially the depiction of the Olympians as a squabbling family with Aphrodite and Thetis eyerolling at Zeus's shenanigans and Athena being all "HAIL NO YOUR BASTARD CAN'T HAVE MY OWL." On the other hand, I didn't miss the old version's recycled footage (especially the release of the Kraken, with identical reaction shots of Poseidon both times), or Perseus's habit of repeating dialogue ("The helmet will make you invisible!" "Invisible?" "Invisible"), so I grudgingly give the remake some props.

Edited at 2010-04-12 05:07 am (UTC)
dwg From: dwg Date: April 12th, 2010 07:02 am (UTC) (Link)
AHHH THIS IS AWESOME! I still wish the Argosians kept the Kraken as the giantest, fugliest, most awesome lawn ornament, but heeeee!!! This sums up exactly why I love this movie. XDDDD
foresthouse From: foresthouse Date: April 12th, 2010 07:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Eeeheehee! So much funny!

HADES: Are we clashing yet? Is this clashing?

ZEUS: Well, technically, our parents were the titans, but your hellrobes don't go too well with my sparkle armor, so maybe that counts.

That (with accompanying picture) killed me. Heh.

P.S. Wow, Zeus's armor is actually, physically going, *ting* isn't it? That's the sparkliest armor ever.

P.P.S. Stealth Twilight jokes FTW. HEEE.
black_faery From: black_faery Date: April 12th, 2010 07:21 am (UTC) (Link)
[Massive suckered tentacles slither up the halls of Olympus, and a vortex of fangs barfs up a pirate hat.]

*falls off chair laughing*
thatjennyj From: thatjennyj Date: April 12th, 2010 07:48 am (UTC) (Link)
I didn't hear great things about this movie so I havnt seen it. But now I don't feel like I need to, this was hilarious! Awesome job!
sualocin From: sualocin Date: April 12th, 2010 07:54 am (UTC) (Link)
omg yay!

And I love the pony. Mostly because whenever I think of it it is a unicorn. Yay! Thank you Cleo!
189 comments or Leave a comment
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