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Eclipse in Fifteen Minutes - Eclipse in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 9 — LiveJournal
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Eclipse in Fifteen Minutes
Previously on ~*The Twilight Saga*~:

Twilight in Fifteen Minutes
New Moon in Fifteen Minutes
Recap: The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner
Many other recaps

So... I got a little loopy on this one. Enjoy.


Site Meter (Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: , ,
Current Music: Howard Shore - "Rosalie" (SERIOUSLY, HOWARD SHORE)

312 comments or Leave a comment
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ranuel From: ranuel Date: July 14th, 2010 12:17 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so very much for enduring this crap and turning it into absolute win. I'm off to badger everyone I know to come read this now.
yanks_02 From: yanks_02 Date: July 14th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC) (Link)

Ahhahahaha I spit out water everywhere. You should add a disclaimer : Am not responsible for any computers that are ruined by beverage.
nore_fortuna From: nore_fortuna Date: July 14th, 2010 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I currently have the flu and I laughing so hard, I'm hissing and wheezing.
ringsandcoffee From: ringsandcoffee Date: July 14th, 2010 01:12 am (UTC) (Link)
This parody = utterly superfantasticalness. If I could get more affixes in there, I would.

The Twilight books ever being considered quality = bzuh??????

From: kellabee Date: December 7th, 2010 04:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
i love your icon
From: ttotheasha Date: July 14th, 2010 01:13 am (UTC) (Link)
EDWARD: BELLA! BELLAAAAAA! You're supposed to pout for five minutes and then your self-respect crumbles and you let me in anyway! It says so right here in the book! This--this--it's like sleeping on the couch, only there's no couch and there's no sleeping! I'M SCARED AND I'M CONFUSED! BELLAAAAAAA!

Edward is officially Marlon Brando in Streetcar now.
From: katharhino Date: July 14th, 2010 01:24 am (UTC) (Link)

Viking saga = good.

Longer = good.

Loopy = v. v. good!

Also, I like Leah. Heh.
From: rubberducky1467 Date: July 14th, 2010 01:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I loved it! :D
ranuel From: ranuel Date: July 14th, 2010 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so very much for enduring this crap and turning it into absolute win. I'm off to badger everyone I know to come read this now.
avaserenity From: avaserenity Date: July 14th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC) (Link)
This is the funniest thing I've read all day. I was going crazy waiting for you to post this, so funny!!


Best lines ever!!!!!
andromedabastow From: andromedabastow Date: July 14th, 2010 01:58 am (UTC) (Link)

Great work as usual....

However not sure what would you do with you running gag of Edward refuses to have sex in small caps for BD. I guess you would use it on the middle of the 15m.

Bella: If I promise I won't get bruised again can we do the sex now?
Edward: NO!

Anyway I'm sure you will do great.

I loved this:

EDWARD: All I did was light candles, put on soft music, buy you a giant bed and give you a diamond! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT MEANS I WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU?

Yeah Edward because that totally means small talk and college paper filling.


Why? I’m smart, clean-cut, handsome, rich--a good student from a good family who won’t even go past first base with your daughter. I’ve even begged her to go to college and not throw her life away on me. It’s not my fault you raised Bella to define herself through abject codependency on a man.

This was all Renee's doing! Ask Phil.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: July 14th, 2010 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Great work as usual....

I actually know exactly how I'm going to use it for Breaking Dawn. It'll have to stay a secret for now, though.
mab_was_real From: mab_was_real Date: July 14th, 2010 02:07 am (UTC) (Link)
mazarin221b From: mazarin221b Date: July 14th, 2010 02:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Jasper Hale's School of Strategic Badassery
God, I love it. But Jasper is really my favorite character, so I'm glad he gets a chance to be awesome.

You rock my world, Cleolinda, for reals. That was absolutely hilarious, and thanks for your hard work bringing the Saga to the People.
secretaddict40 From: secretaddict40 Date: July 14th, 2010 02:39 am (UTC) (Link)


I laughed so hard I damn near choked! This is priceless! You are really good. :-)
la_petite_singe From: la_petite_singe Date: July 14th, 2010 02:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, thank GOD; I had a stressful-ass day and this is utterly marvelous. ♥

EDWARD: I’m sorry, little boy, did you say something?
JACOB: I don’t know, old man, did you go deaf?

...And this is why I ship them. \m/

Try everything! Make mistakes! Particularly mistakes that aren’t permanent! Go to college! Date lots of boys, even a few that aren't monsters! Don't commit yourself to anything!
I still say that speech was a big ol' Courage Wolf. DO CRAZY SHIT/DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Someone needs to make this, stat.

Ja... Riley. JaRiley. That’s... that's a nickname... endearment... thing we vampires do.
...Oh my God, I spent way, WAY too long on TV Tropes today, apparently, because my brain immediately went "Hee, Buffy Speak!" GOD HELP ME

And...and "CHEESEBURGER OF PAIN"?! OH MY GOD. No, that can't...I don't even...wow. That is just...y'know, sometimes I have this little fantasy that SMeyer is really the world's most dedicated troll and the books are really just a massive 'gotcha,' kinda like that "My Immortal" fic. (RIGHT?!) But then I realize it can't be so, and my soul dies a little more. (P.S., as a Supernatural fan who just listened to Misha Collins detailing the horrors of eating many, many cheeseburgers in one sitting in utterly filthy double entendre-ish language, that is brilliant.)

Once again, awesome, would & will LOL again and again. I actually almost half-understand the plot now! See the wonders you cause?
tangerinedreams From: tangerinedreams Date: July 14th, 2010 03:42 am (UTC) (Link)
would you happen to have a link to that Misha bit?
alexandra8011 From: alexandra8011 Date: July 14th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC) (Link)
312 comments or Leave a comment
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