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Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes - Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 10 — LiveJournal
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
cleolinda
m15m
cleolinda
Breaking Dawn in Fifteen Minutes
Part One, at any rate. I do want to go back and do the two Deathly Hallows...es, but this is what we've got for now: the movie about which I spent three years muttering, "I have no idea how they're going to do this." If you need to catch up:

Twilight in Fifteen Minutes
New Moon in Fifteen Minutes
Eclipse in Fifteen Minutes
Recaps of the books



WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE, HORRIFYING IMAGES, THAT WHICH CANNOT BE UNSEENCollapse )




Site Meter (Zomg e-book! The Annotated Movies in Fifteen Minutes: Wizards!)

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: relieved relieved
Current Music: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Dazzle

286 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
Page 10 of 11
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stagemanager From: stagemanager Date: November 25th, 2011 11:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
You just keep getting better and better and BETTER.

You ROCK and are AWESOME.

Thank you for being you and doing this for us to enjoy.

Also, there is NO WAY I'll be able to watch this movie without cackling madly, so I'd best watch it at home. Alone.
ladybugg7 From: ladybugg7 Date: November 26th, 2011 12:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Ahahaha!! You make everything *Pink and Sparkly*
annemjw From: annemjw Date: November 26th, 2011 12:43 am (UTC) (Link)
You're my favourite. Hit all the best points, once again!
angbry From: angbry Date: November 26th, 2011 03:09 am (UTC) (Link)
did anyone else notice that none of the vampires sparkled in this movie??? Edward was in freaking Brazil and never sparkled!

I'm seriously doubting their commitment to sparklemotion
andromedabastow From: andromedabastow Date: November 26th, 2011 07:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Wonderful as usual.

I can see how you were going to deal with the sex finally happening. :)

Is it me or I'm the only one that thinks that Alice is marrying Edward and not Bella? I mean really the girl is living Bella's life by proxy since day 1, is behind every single Edward choice regardless Bella, went bunkers to throw her a wedding neither of them wanted and she picked the dress and sexy lingerie she probably saw Edward destroying... I always got the feeling that if no for Jasper, Alice would be all over Edward like cheese on a pizza. Just saying. I see her more into Edward than into Bella and the constant lending of clothes for Bella to wear FOR Edward is a bit too suspicious...
From: jenny_islander Date: November 26th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Wonderful as usual.

Naaah, in these fanfics there's usually a more mature female character who has deep insight into the male love interest but doesn't actually want him and helps the Sue seduce her man.

I applaud SMeyer for managing to convince a publishing house to sell her fanfic, but I still can't quite figure out what it's fanfic of.
zydee From: zydee Date: November 26th, 2011 08:09 am (UTC) (Link)
This was AWESOME!! Good work!
mishbloom From: mishbloom Date: November 26th, 2011 04:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think I can actually go see the movie now.

"We'll have to reboot him again." *DIES HOWLING*
mollyringle From: mollyringle Date: November 27th, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awesomeness. :D
I haven't actually seen this movie--or even read this book (I stopped after Eclipse)--but if it's this cracktastically Gothic, I might have to. Then again, I've read this now, so I don't need to.

EDWARD: OH MY GOD YOU'VE BEEN HUMPING MY LEG FOR THREE WHOLE MOVIES NOW WHAT IS YOUR DEAL

LOL. So true.
chulacabra From: chulacabra Date: November 27th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
So I finally saw this last night and to my amazement, it turns out that you didn't write a parody but a freakin' transcript of the movie. Lines like "You're not a virgin? LOL" that I thought were a joke were what they actually said, FFS.

Overall, I was really bored during the wedding and honeymoon (even the deflowering, which was a big disappointment after seeing the leaked footage), and guffawed my way through the pregnancy/birth/imprinting. The wolf scene made me want to crawl under my chair from the fontrum. The shot of the imprinted couples on the beach scarred my soul--first couple making out, second couple making out, third couple working on toilet training, WAT.

On the acting front, Taylor Launter was dreadful, absolutely dreadful. I kept thinking about Manola Dargis' review through the whole movie. KStew--honey, close your mouth, please, I'm begging you. I thought RPattz did pretty well but then Michael Sheen showed up at the end and made more of an impression in a minute and a half than the Holy Trinity did during the preceding two hours.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: November 27th, 2011 07:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lines like "You're not a virgin? LOL" that I thought were a joke were what they actually said, FFS.

See, this is why I encourage people to also see the movie. To me, it's funnier when you realize afterwards that I wasn't making it up.
a_hoffman79 From: a_hoffman79 Date: November 28th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Fan-freakin'-tastic. As expected and per usual, but I think I like this one the best of your Twilight movie recaps because you didn't have to make any of it up. It was brilliant.

And this:

EDWARD: GIANT GLITTER SYRINGE!

JACOB: Of what?

EDWARD: My venom!

JACOB: Wait, needles can't pierce sparklemarble, where did you get that?


Tru dat. I always imagined Edward milking his venom into a cup like you would do with a venomous snake. Not classy, but hilarious to imagine. :)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: November 28th, 2011 04:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
See, that was my first thought, until I remembered that sparklepires don't even have fangs.
From: fuckthepolicia Date: November 28th, 2011 07:29 am (UTC) (Link)
I can't tell if you like the series or not, because this is fucking hilarious. Making fun of this shit is one of my hobbies, but it also frustrates the fuck out of me when it comes to fangirls.
(Seriously, some fangirls think JK Rowling stole ideas from St%$@!*&ie M@#$r.)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: November 28th, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh, people are always asking me that. "What do you ACTUALLY think about it? I can't tell!" The books kind of enrage me, but I sort of enjoy the movies on their own wonky ridiculous terms (particularly when they leave out the shit that infuriates me, or the movies snark on themselves), and I really enjoy sort of affectionately snarking on it and discussing the series and the fan shenanigans as a phenomenon. I say affectionately, because if I just straight-up loathed it, it wouldn't be any fun. I also tend to feel like informed jokes are the funniest, which requires enough tolerance of the material to be familiar with it. Maybe I'm a fan of joking about Twilight rather than Twilight itself.
From: fuckthepolicia Date: November 28th, 2011 07:31 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, and I forgot to mention that reading this makes me want to actually see the movie. If I did, I'd either pirate it or movie hop because no money of mine is going into making these horrifying shitface-fests.
elvensapphire From: elvensapphire Date: November 28th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
This. Is. Perfection.

I just watched both parts of Deathly Hallows for the first time, and knowing that would inevitably leave me in a state of depression, I purposely saved this to read after the fact. It was precisely the kind of medicine I needed. You always manage to make me enjoy the Twilight series more than should ever be allowed and I thank and applaud you for it. :D ♥
thecivilunrest From: thecivilunrest Date: November 28th, 2011 06:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh man, these are the best. I was dying through all of this. LOVELY JOB!
stormarrow From: stormarrow Date: November 29th, 2011 12:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay!! Thank you for doing this!!!

Every time Charlie was on screen my friend would say "sad mustache" lol


Also in the beginning of the movie before she goes to walk down the aisle someone behind us whispered " So who is she marrying?" We burst out laughing.
286 comments or Leave a comment
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