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Frequently Asked Questions - Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Frequently Asked Questions
Updated July 3, 2004.

Since it would be much more appropriate over here:

Who? What? Why?

Well, I started posting Movies in Fifteen Minutes at my personal journal, cleolinda, and I friended everyone back because, you know, that's fun, and then... I ran out of space. So apparently communities have a lot more room for members. Which is why I've moved the Fifteen Minutes over here. I probably won't post the Fifteen Minutes at cleolinda anymore, but I will definitely say, "Hey, guys, I posted something new at m15m, here's a link!" So you're covered no matter which one you've friended.

What are you going to post on this community?

Primarily the Fifteen Minutes, and any icons I make, and possibly news or questions relating to them ("So, where did you hear about Movies in Fifteen Minutes?"). I reserve the right to post anything I want, basically. Also, no one can post new entries but me--you can comment till the cows come home, however.

Where are the other "Fifteen Minutes"?

Go forward to "next entry" or go to the Memories section for an alphabetical sorting. If you join or friend the community, the next "Fifteen Minutes," whatever it may be, will show up on your friends list.

Can I join this community?

No. I created it so I could sit and stare at it. YES, YOU CAN JOIN THE COMMUNITY.

Why did you lock the community?

Rampant plagiarism, anonymous flames, and general asshattery. Icon are still free for the taking as always, and icon and announcement posts will remain unlocked. Each time I post a locked "Fifteen Minutes" entry, I will post an unlocked "Hey, there's a new 'Fifteen Minutes'" announcement, just to be safe. My intention is not to keep people from reading the parodies (anyone can join the community), but to make it harder for random passersby to drop in, copy & paste the text to another web page, and then claim they can't remember who wrote it.

I'm having trouble getting to the locked entries. What do I do?

Make sure you've joined the community, not just friended it. Even after you've joined, it may also take a few minutes to kick in, so refresh a little, or log in/log out of LJ and see if that doesn't help. That's all you'll need to do to be able to read the locked entries and comment.

Can I friend cleolinda, for all my random-chick thesis-angsting needs?

Sure thing. I may or may not be able to friend you back, though, depending on how many readers have completely forsaken that journal for this one.

Can I link to your journal or send things to my friends?

I am a total link whore. If you want to print the stuff out and pass it out to strangers on the street I don't care, just as long as it has "Cleolinda Jones" somewhere on it. That said, please try not to copy and paste the entire thing onto message boards. Not because I care, but because these things are like 20 pages in Word and your fellow posters will thank you later for not doing that. A link and maybe a snippet will get the point across just as well.

Are you reading all these comments?

Every single one. I have email notification to my Yahoo address turned on. I'm trying to answer the ones that ask specific questions, but trust me, I read all of them and I appreciate everything everyone's said and I wish I could reply to them all, but Troy alone now has something like 600 comments back at my cleolinda journal. I'm not even getting to reply to as many comments as I'd like, so I'm trying to set aside more time for that. I hate to issue a message of mass gratitude, but--thank you, to everyone, for all the nice things you've said.

Can I take icons you made?

Yes, of course you can take them. In fact, I encourage you to make your own, because I am not terribly l33t with the Photoshop yet, and bring 'em back and share them with everyone else.

Why are you making fun of these movies? Did you hate them that much?

I think I mentioned this on a previous entry, but it's worth repeating: I don't think that the funny should be reserved for things we hate. Let's face it, the Lord of the Rings movies are freakin' hilarious, and tons of parodies have been written about them. Does that mean that people hate them? On the contrary! And I've enjoyed all the movies I've done so far. Besides, movies as a medium are just funny, sometimes--they can't always be bastions of realism because they're movies, no matter how good they are, and not v. v. serious 10-hour documentaries. Think of it as "making fun" rather than "mocking until the movie goes home crying to its mommy," and with emphasis on the "fun."

May I worship you/fangirl you/bear your children?

I am flattered. Deeply flattered. However, it is only fair to remind you that half these jokes write themselves. Come on--"Hector smash"? That was there, dude. That said, the nicest things you can ever do for any writer are 1) recommend her work and 2) read more of it. Which most of you have already told me you're doing. (cough blackribbon hack dailydigestmovienews wheeze shortattentionspantheater cough. Sorry about that. Hairball.) P.S. Vladimir the Official Squishy would like you to step off his Cleo, he told me to tell you.

Can I write my own Movie in Fifteen Minutes?

My gut reaction is "OMG DUN STEEL!" But--let's face it, I hardly invented the concept of movie parody, and I wasn't the first person by a long shot to use a dialogue/script format. So I can't really stop you, is what I'm saying. That said, I'd really like to keep hold of the name "Movies in Fifteen Minutes"/"[Blah] in Fifteen Minutes." Here's why:

CLEO: *writes "Troy in Fifteen Minutes"*

JANE: *reads it and writes her own "Troy in Fifteen Minutes"*

SOMEONE: Hey, who's that girl who writes the Fifteen Minutes things?


That's why.

If there's anything else you'd like to know, please ask in the comments. On the original FAQ entry I added, "Even if that question is 'Who the hell do you think you are?'" While you can still ask that, I'm thinking that by the time you're forced to create a community to deal with incoming traffic, the time for shyness is over. So, you know, enjoy, and I'll get out of your way now.

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124 comments or Leave a comment
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cpip From: cpip Date: June 2nd, 2004 07:45 am (UTC) (Link)

I have random-chick thesis-angsting needs!

...well, maybe. Either way... hmm. Okay, so I can't bear your children. Can I buy you coffee / tea / soda sometime? :)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 2nd, 2004 07:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: I have random-chick thesis-angsting needs!

Well, I am your one-stop shop for that, I tell you what. Maybe you and me and the penguin can go for ice cream sometime. :)
fanofall From: fanofall Date: June 2nd, 2004 08:20 am (UTC) (Link)
I cannot tell you how many times "step off my human, HOR" has come into conversation this week. I didn't realize how all-purpose that particular phrase was going to be. I just wanted to let you know that not only do you bring the funny, but you provide a valuable language service. That's what I call one-stop shopping!
kotszok From: kotszok Date: June 2nd, 2004 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)
Woot! Mother post! MUAH!

rikkrp From: rikkrp Date: June 2nd, 2004 01:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just wanted to let you know that I love these 15 minunte movies. And not that I in anyway found your personal journal boring, but I only have so much time to read other people's journals, so I limit it to a select few...

So I've joined this community and defriended your personal journal. I'm sure you have no hard feelings about this (or, you know, even noticed), but I just thought I'd let you know.

Look forward to the next 15 minute movie, whenever that may be!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 2nd, 2004 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually, I'm a little relieved that folks have started to defriend that journal and move over here--it gives me a little wiggle room. I'm not going to ask people to leave that one, but, like you're saying, if they would rather just come over to this community, I'm perfectly fine with that. :)
Yay! - (Anonymous) - Expand
lacrimaeveneris From: lacrimaeveneris Date: June 3rd, 2004 05:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! A community for movies in 15 minutes.

..I'm not unfriending your cleolinda one though, because you're still pretty interesting. :)

Are you going to still post your movies in 15 minutes in your journal as well, or should I friend this community?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 3rd, 2004 07:14 am (UTC) (Link)
I'll probably say, "Hey guys, there's a new Fifteen Minutes up at the comm! Here's the link." And it won't be locked, so joining the comm if you've already friended me isn't strictly necessary. :)
bunnysquee From: bunnysquee Date: June 3rd, 2004 07:19 am (UTC) (Link)
i'm so glad you set this up - much more convenient when looking for and linking.

i know there are loads out there, but have you thought about writing LOTR in 15 minutes, or Pirates in 15 Minutes? i think you'll have something new and hilarious to say.
From: laruina Date: June 3rd, 2004 05:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't know if you take requests, but I highly recommend doing Casa de los Babys. Something outside your usual genre.
From: (Anonymous) Date: June 26th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
How about the animated LotR movies?
From: (Anonymous) Date: June 6th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Loved Troy in 15!

Looking forward to your other reviews!
ji_xiang From: ji_xiang Date: June 9th, 2004 11:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Um, probably a dumb question, but who is Vladimir? (if you don't mind answering, that is...) You mentioned him above, and a lot in your Oscar commentary...
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 9th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Heee, I should put him in the FAQ, too. Vladimir is my Official Squishy, for lack of a better term--we've sort of had a long-distance email/IM relationship for about two, two and a half years now, and he's finally coming to visit/meet in person next month. Considering that he's from/in Croatia and I'm in Alabama, this is a big deal for us. :)
mamajoan From: mamajoan Date: June 9th, 2004 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I doubt this'll ever qualify as a *F*AQ, but: have you ever seen Movie-A-Minute? I'd suggest you submit some stuff to them, except they don't seem to have actually updated the site in like two years. Still, there's some funny shit over there.

BTW, thanks for your summaries of Troy and Hidalgo. Now I don't have to go see them! ;)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 9th, 2004 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, I love that site--Book-A-Minute by the same people is also great.
(Deleted comment)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 9th, 2004 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, as I've been telling people--I can't really stop anyone from writing movie parodies, because God knows I didn't invent the concept, but I'd really like to hang on to the "Movies in Fifteen Minutes" name, if at all possible.
(Deleted comment)
crystalina From: crystalina Date: June 10th, 2004 10:59 am (UTC) (Link)
AWESOME journal! :) i would recommend posting a link to this entry in the userinfo because it really helped me understand what was going on over here. :)

great stuff!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 10th, 2004 02:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks--I really do need to do that. :)
(Deleted comment)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 11th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Well, at this point I'm just asking people not to use the "Movies in Fifteen Minutes" name. Other than that, movie parodies in general are pretty much fair game.
00goddess From: 00goddess Date: June 12th, 2004 05:38 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Memories?

The other day, when I joined this community, I could see the memories, and now I can't. What happened? And do you have a link list of all the movies you've done?

Great work, btw. I joined because of Prisoner of Azkaban. You are very very funny!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 12th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Memories?

Weird--I don't know what's up with that. There are fewer than 20 entries on the whole comm to date, so everything on the main page is all there is--about six or seven movies, I think.
skizzybiz From: skizzybiz Date: June 14th, 2004 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
First off, this shit is hilarious. Second, have you considered making a proper site out of this? As it is, it's kind of hard to scan along to find the main movie entries. If you built something on Movable Type or TypePad, then you could present the movies however you wanted, and display the FAQ prominently so you don't have to keep reposting it. And of course you can post duplicate LJ and MT entries to keep the community here going, as well.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 14th, 2004 07:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, you can always check the memories section. I have the movies sorted alphabetically there. I run too many websites/weblogs as it is--not sure I could handle another one. :)
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