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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 12
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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darkwitchmoon From: darkwitchmoon Date: January 10th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)
genius, simple genius heh heh thank you xxx
butindreams From: butindreams Date: January 10th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)
LOVE the "are we there yet?" and the 'tour' of his lair. awesome. And I love your Carlotta about 8 billion times better than I did during the movie. :) And the masquerade scene was great. :) And the rest of it. of course. The whole end sequence with her not wanting to leave = hilarious. And good point about her totally taking forever to get the mask off as he just sat there, letting her... Oy.

psst, Firmin & Andre are their last names... Also, you started calling him The Phantom a couple lines too soon.
tonks07 From: tonks07 Date: January 13th, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
actually in the book by Gaston LeRoux those are thier 1st names
theatre_angel From: theatre_angel Date: January 10th, 2005 12:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Absolutely brilliant. :-)
rosewing From: rosewing Date: January 10th, 2005 12:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my goodness I love you. You've made me so very happy.

Um, yes, I'm one of those devotees of the musical and especially the Original London Cast whose expectations the movie rather failed to meet. But I will admit it had its high points, and its low points are in retrospect, often hilarious, as you have proven. Oh so happy.

And yes! Gerard Butler fans who want to keep him in your closet - please do keep him there!!!

Will there be icons?! Tell me there will be icons!!!
the_grim_wombat From: the_grim_wombat Date: January 10th, 2005 12:59 am (UTC) (Link)
I agree. XP Gerard Butler = TEH PRETTY. However, I was just listening to the movie soundtrack, and without the pretty there to distract you, it's pretty horrendous.

They should have had Crawford dub his voice. <3 That man could sing his grocery list, and I'd swoon.
asathena From: asathena Date: January 10th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
1) Bajillion points for referenceing Kaeserin Elisabeth. (I just spent a semester in Austria, saw the Elisabeth play, so it's cool to hear her being referenced!)
2) What's the definition of the action: "frugs" ?

gravities From: gravities Date: January 11th, 2005 05:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was totally wondering this too. It's fairly obscure for those of us who are not baby boomers - unless you saw the movie Desert Blue, I guess.


I have no idea where Cleo got the reference, but genius as usual.
cloudytears From: cloudytears Date: January 10th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
that was awesome!

except, I thought the phantom gives christine raoul's ring in his layer after Don Juan. :P
singofmyself From: singofmyself Date: January 10th, 2005 12:50 am (UTC) (Link)
That is greatness!
starryeyes203 From: starryeyes203 Date: January 10th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my God...Glorious, absolutely glorious. It took me ten minutes to stop laughing.

You are so incredibly talented, and I cannot wait for the book.
la_petite_singe From: la_petite_singe Date: January 10th, 2005 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
*is DYIIIIIING with laughter* Oh, god, that was brill. Only you can take a movie I love, mock the shit out of it, and make me love it more. =D My favorite line has to be "OH MY GOD, HE’S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!" (Which is true. I mean, I've seen much worse on CSI.) Well done, as usual.
lupinlover From: lupinlover Date: January 10th, 2005 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
fushicho From: fushicho Date: January 10th, 2005 01:07 am (UTC) (Link)
OMFG!!!! I laughed so hard I had an asthma attack!
maddarilke From: maddarilke Date: January 10th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC) (Link)
You've already got a trajillion comments, so here's mine:

It's me again, and not only do I love you, I want to sex up your brain, and the *gorgeous* furniture within.

Seriously, I have been laughing for a full hour now, and my ribs feel like they've been fricasseed.
the_grim_wombat From: the_grim_wombat Date: January 10th, 2005 01:23 am (UTC) (Link)
elendiari22 From: elendiari22 Date: January 10th, 2005 01:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I love it! This is totally rockin' awesome! And thank you for confirming that I am not the only one who thought that Christine's "Think of Me" dress looked *exactly* like Sissi's.
brenah From: brenah Date: January 10th, 2005 01:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Now, that was comedy GOLD, Cleo!

Man, I *really* cannot wait til your book comes out.
anik From: anik Date: January 10th, 2005 01:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Not only did you make me laugh, snicker, chuckle, and guffaw, but you also used the apostrophe correctly in "INCREDIBLY '80S MUSIC". For that, this grammar freak humbly thanks you.

And your SEKRIT MAJICK OMG copyrights are brilliant, too.
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