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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 18
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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1285 comments or Leave a comment
Page 18 of 63
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From: thisiamdenied Date: January 10th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Weeeeeeeeeee!! LOVED this m15m!! It was simply FAB. There are no other words to describe its fabosity.
bandonbanshee From: bandonbanshee Date: January 10th, 2005 03:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow. Seriously wow. Having seen and not particularly enjoyed the movie, this was so wonderful (and side-splittingly hilarious) to read. As ever, you articulate the salient points in the funniest way.

And eleven pages of comments in less than twenty four hours? Also wow.

paratus From: paratus Date: January 10th, 2005 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I heart the Flying Nun.
valancy_s From: valancy_s Date: January 10th, 2005 04:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Okay, a comment at this point is just a drop in the ocean, but oh well.

When the Phantom appears during the Masquerade scene, I totally whispered to the friend next to me: "Crap. Now they all have the plague." Glad someone else noticed the Red-Deathness of the moment! :) And I love the horse-stagecoach-biplane-godola bit! The appearance of that horse out of nowhere in the catacombs, true to the book or not, was the most unexpectably hilarious moment of the movie.

But you missed the best line in the whole film! "Clearly, his genius... has turned to MADNESS!" Oh well spotted, Raoul.
alleykitten From: alleykitten Date: January 10th, 2005 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I needed that.
sleepy_morrigan From: sleepy_morrigan Date: January 10th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nice one!
cantinera From: cantinera Date: January 10th, 2005 04:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
BUQUET THE STAGEHAND: …And in the book, he’s got a hole where his nose ought to be, and his hands are cold and he’s like a cadaver all over!

SOME DANCER: But what about in the movie?

BUQUET: In the movie? He’s got a terrible… third degree… SUNBURN!

THE DANCERS: *scream and faint dead away*

Haha! I loved that joke throughout this. I mean, his face was kinda burned, but honestly? Nothing a girl couldn't forgive since he was dead sexy. It was the murdering, crazed maniac playing with daddy issues that was the turn-off, really.

Good job!

savannahjan From: savannahjan Date: January 10th, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwahahahahaaa!!! I do not suggest reading this while students are quietly working at their desks. It is awfully hard to suppress the laughter.

Sidenote: You should revise and add the part where Mdm. Giry bitch slaps Buquet!!!

But really, you totally rock!

Wherever It Is That the Dancers Hang Out

BUQUET THE STAGEHAND: …And in the book, he’s got a hole where his nose ought to be, and his hands are cold and he’s like a cadaver all over!

SOME DANCER: But what about in the movie?

BUQUET: In the movie? He’s got a terrible… third degree… SUNBURN!

THE DANCERS: *scream and faint dead away*
blissfullyme From: blissfullyme Date: January 10th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was the single funiest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I worship you!
fourth_moon From: fourth_moon Date: January 10th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
**30 straight minutes of hysterical laughing and giggling**

Okay, my boyfriend is now finally convinced that I'm crazy, but it's worth it.

Eleven pages of comments? I guess that equals fame. Deserved fame, this is brilliant from beginning to end. You picked up pretty much all the ripp-offs I saw (The black&white B&B film, Elephant men) plus some more.

This movie practically screams for parody: over-blown, full of idiosyncracies, but still oddly compelling.

Gods, this is hillarious. Thanks ever!
casualelegance From: casualelegance Date: January 10th, 2005 05:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Squuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeee! I remember asking you ages ago on phantom_icons whther you would be doing this. Thank you thank you thank you.

*goes and revels in the glory of the phantom*


myrafur From: myrafur Date: January 10th, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
NO WORDS for the love, Cleo! Another masterpiece!

Great job!
absurdwords From: absurdwords Date: January 10th, 2005 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is so hysterically funny!
elirrina From: elirrina Date: January 10th, 2005 05:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's totally awesome!!
psychopompos From: psychopompos Date: January 10th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I LOVED this movie! And I'm very grateful you did such a wonderful M15M for it. YOU ROCK.
1285 comments or Leave a comment
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