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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 21
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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edda From: edda Date: January 11th, 2005 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
*tears of laughter*
orignalbatgirl From: orignalbatgirl Date: January 11th, 2005 04:53 am (UTC) (Link)
holy mother of shit. That is one of the best homework distractions EVER! you rock mad multicolored toe socks!

From: dysiskalyca Date: January 11th, 2005 05:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I would just like to say... that I have NEVER laughed so hard in my ENTIRE life. I LOVE YOU!!! :D :D :D
From: ventruechick Date: January 11th, 2005 06:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Holy crap, I wiped out nearly a half box of tissues because this had me laughing so hard I was crying! This whole thing is just spectacular, but I think my favorites are The Phantom's 'missing Hanson' jab at Raoul and the 'are we there yet' bit. Oh gawd... XD
*in need of many more tissues*
From: yamheads Date: January 11th, 2005 11:37 am (UTC) (Link)

*dies laughing liek whoa*
k155_me From: k155_me Date: January 11th, 2005 05:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
hehehe! my god i luv this CHRISTINE: Will we get there any faster if I flash all of my thigh and possibly more?
© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com

CARLOTTA: Mah nota say, “You suck, and so do the doggeh!”

THE PHANTOM [sniffling]: Okay, now you’re just rubbing it in.

Missing Hanson Brother

and everything by the ugly monkey box... LMAO! my friend thinks im crazy coz i just kept laughing over msn n she didnt know y!
jonathlee From: jonathlee Date: January 11th, 2005 07:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
....bwaaahahahahahahaha! You have-a made-a my day-a! *is still chuckling after having laughed hysterically through most of that* I have seen this movie three times (Shut up, I only had to pay once!), and am STILL trying to figure out how no one noticed the - ahem - 'horrible' disfiguration while it, y'know, WASN'T COVERED by that itty bitty teeny weeny yellow polka-dot mask-ini.

But yes. Bwaahahaha. Perfect. PERFECT. I love this like death.
From: ex_chaptertw247 Date: January 11th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that may have been the greatest thing I've ever read.
libertybellbell From: libertybellbell Date: January 11th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
So funny.

The most funny of all, however:

[Christine deploys her collapsible bodice, leaving her shoulders completely bare.]

RAOUL: *cries*

And that actually happened.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 11th, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm saying, man. People keep telling me how hilarious the "Fifteen Minutes" is and it's like, dude, seriously, THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I just transcribed what I saw, man--you can't give me the credit. ; )
mmulberry From: mmulberry Date: January 11th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Carlotta goes as Boobzilla

I have to say, after seeing the movie again, that Meg Giry is definitely showing more on the boobage front. On the front in general, really.
From: heathychan Date: January 11th, 2005 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
calicoelfie From: calicoelfie Date: January 11th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
i really shouldn't read these before watching the movies... *snrks* but i love them so! nice work.

and yeah, the book was great, but i like the [original] songs, too ^_^
beerbad From: beerbad Date: January 12th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
This? Might just be the funniest thing I have ever read. Now I HAVE to see the movie again!!

Bravo!! :D
joemorf From: joemorf Date: January 12th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
You know, perhaps because I'm researching Ragtime right now, the love triangle ("tell me you were traumatized!" "well, there was that whole murder thing just now" "atta girl!") reminded me of the wackiness between Stanford White, Harry K. Thaw, and Evelyn Nesbit.

Well done. Very funny stuff.

heartnut From: heartnut Date: January 12th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC) (Link)
SQUAK! This is so effing hilarious. Hell, what a good job. I'm forwarding this to all my Phantom Phan buddies that I've converted after seeing the movie. This will make them laugh, too.
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