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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 21
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
cleolinda
m15m
cleolinda
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.



ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.





Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.

OH MY GOD, HE'S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!Collapse )



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Current Music: DUHHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHHHH!

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libertybellbell From: libertybellbell Date: January 11th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
So funny.

The most funny of all, however:

[Christine deploys her collapsible bodice, leaving her shoulders completely bare.]

RAOUL: *cries*


And that actually happened.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 11th, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm saying, man. People keep telling me how hilarious the "Fifteen Minutes" is and it's like, dude, seriously, THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I just transcribed what I saw, man--you can't give me the credit. ; )
mmulberry From: mmulberry Date: January 11th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Carlotta goes as Boobzilla

I have to say, after seeing the movie again, that Meg Giry is definitely showing more on the boobage front. On the front in general, really.
From: heathychan Date: January 11th, 2005 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
A HAHAHA!
calicoelfie From: calicoelfie Date: January 11th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
i really shouldn't read these before watching the movies... *snrks* but i love them so! nice work.

and yeah, the book was great, but i like the [original] songs, too ^_^
beerbad From: beerbad Date: January 12th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC) (Link)
This? Might just be the funniest thing I have ever read. Now I HAVE to see the movie again!!

Bravo!! :D
joemorf From: joemorf Date: January 12th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
You know, perhaps because I'm researching Ragtime right now, the love triangle ("tell me you were traumatized!" "well, there was that whole murder thing just now" "atta girl!") reminded me of the wackiness between Stanford White, Harry K. Thaw, and Evelyn Nesbit.

Well done. Very funny stuff.

~j
heartnut From: heartnut Date: January 12th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC) (Link)
SQUAK! This is so effing hilarious. Hell, what a good job. I'm forwarding this to all my Phantom Phan buddies that I've converted after seeing the movie. This will make them laugh, too.
kholran From: kholran Date: January 12th, 2005 01:32 am (UTC) (Link)
*giggles* Hilarious as always. You know, I watch movies now just to read these things afterwards...and then I can't watch the movie again without laughing through the whole thing. XD
euphrosyna From: euphrosyna Date: January 12th, 2005 01:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my god, that is so funny. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
stolensanity From: stolensanity Date: January 12th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I am dead of laughter. That is GREAT.
jedi_ankh From: jedi_ankh Date: January 12th, 2005 02:39 am (UTC) (Link)

SHLASHITY!

This covers EVERYTHINGS that urks me about the movie! *applauds while wiping tears*


BUQUET THE STAGEHAND: …And in the book, he’s got a hole where his nose ought to be, and his hands are cold and he’s like a cadaver all over!
SOME DANCER: But what about in the movie?

BUQUET: In the movie? He’s got a terrible… third degree… SUNBURN!


Should see the Lon Chaney version sometime . . .
fer_de_lance From: fer_de_lance Date: January 12th, 2005 03:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Mwahaha! Yes, it was just like that! (Except I thought that the only sensible part of Raoul's entire plan was when he kept the (nervous jumpy) gendarmes from firing into a stage full of rapidly-moving bodies and fires.)

Before he drowns, he swims down to the bottom and find a rusty old wheel that he manages to turn just in time to lift the grate. This scene is kind of pointless.

Nonsense, it wasn't pointless! It was to make him wet and shiny. You know--like Will Turner. Getting the (marginally-)attractive male characters wet is an obvious play to make them sexier. :D

Wow, I enjoyed that almost as much as the actual movie. (Particularly the line about "now you're just rubbing it in"--so true!)
phunkiejunkie From: phunkiejunkie Date: January 12th, 2005 03:14 am (UTC) (Link)
That is so fucking funny. Thank you!
cure_marine From: cure_marine Date: January 12th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. You just made my day. ^_^v
moonbunnii From: moonbunnii Date: January 12th, 2005 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)
PURE BRILLIANCE
i salute you and blame you for my falling off the chair with laughter =D!
You are a brilliant genius. EVIL, but brilliant =D
must... resist... urge... to... repost...

STAGEHAND: Bring out the dramatic sheep!

THE PHANTOM: YOU CAN NEVER EVER LEAVE MY BATCAVE NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MY ACCURSED RADIATION BURNS!

SIGN ON THE DOOR: “Open in Case of Emergency or Plot Dead-End.”

CARRIAGE DRIVER [rubbing bonked head]: Damn if I know! She was wearing a boobtastic black dress, that’s all I know.
RAOUL: TO HER FATHER’S GRAVE!

RAOUL: YOU ARE WRONG IN THE HEAD.
THE PHANTOM: I KEEL YOU, FABIO!

© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
animetrix From: animetrix Date: January 12th, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have to ask, because I've seen it several times now... who made the icon, and can I steal it? (Well, not steal. There will be crediting and much love involved.) The icon I refer to is the one with the 'taking off the mask scene' from Movies in 15 Minutes, in case this is read out of context.

~Kara
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