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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 22
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
cleolinda
m15m
cleolinda
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.



ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.





Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.

OH MY GOD, HE'S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!Collapse )



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1287 comments or Leave a comment
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kholran From: kholran Date: January 12th, 2005 01:32 am (UTC) (Link)
*giggles* Hilarious as always. You know, I watch movies now just to read these things afterwards...and then I can't watch the movie again without laughing through the whole thing. XD
euphrosyna From: euphrosyna Date: January 12th, 2005 01:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my god, that is so funny. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
stolensanity From: stolensanity Date: January 12th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I am dead of laughter. That is GREAT.
jedi_ankh From: jedi_ankh Date: January 12th, 2005 02:39 am (UTC) (Link)

SHLASHITY!

This covers EVERYTHINGS that urks me about the movie! *applauds while wiping tears*


BUQUET THE STAGEHAND: …And in the book, he’s got a hole where his nose ought to be, and his hands are cold and he’s like a cadaver all over!
SOME DANCER: But what about in the movie?

BUQUET: In the movie? He’s got a terrible… third degree… SUNBURN!


Should see the Lon Chaney version sometime . . .
fer_de_lance From: fer_de_lance Date: January 12th, 2005 03:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Mwahaha! Yes, it was just like that! (Except I thought that the only sensible part of Raoul's entire plan was when he kept the (nervous jumpy) gendarmes from firing into a stage full of rapidly-moving bodies and fires.)

Before he drowns, he swims down to the bottom and find a rusty old wheel that he manages to turn just in time to lift the grate. This scene is kind of pointless.

Nonsense, it wasn't pointless! It was to make him wet and shiny. You know--like Will Turner. Getting the (marginally-)attractive male characters wet is an obvious play to make them sexier. :D

Wow, I enjoyed that almost as much as the actual movie. (Particularly the line about "now you're just rubbing it in"--so true!)
phunkiejunkie From: phunkiejunkie Date: January 12th, 2005 03:14 am (UTC) (Link)
That is so fucking funny. Thank you!
cure_marine From: cure_marine Date: January 12th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. You just made my day. ^_^v
moonbunnii From: moonbunnii Date: January 12th, 2005 04:09 am (UTC) (Link)
PURE BRILLIANCE
i salute you and blame you for my falling off the chair with laughter =D!
You are a brilliant genius. EVIL, but brilliant =D
must... resist... urge... to... repost...

STAGEHAND: Bring out the dramatic sheep!

THE PHANTOM: YOU CAN NEVER EVER LEAVE MY BATCAVE NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MY ACCURSED RADIATION BURNS!

SIGN ON THE DOOR: “Open in Case of Emergency or Plot Dead-End.”

CARRIAGE DRIVER [rubbing bonked head]: Damn if I know! She was wearing a boobtastic black dress, that’s all I know.
RAOUL: TO HER FATHER’S GRAVE!

RAOUL: YOU ARE WRONG IN THE HEAD.
THE PHANTOM: I KEEL YOU, FABIO!

© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com
animetrix From: animetrix Date: January 12th, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
I have to ask, because I've seen it several times now... who made the icon, and can I steal it? (Well, not steal. There will be crediting and much love involved.) The icon I refer to is the one with the 'taking off the mask scene' from Movies in 15 Minutes, in case this is read out of context.

~Kara
childishdesires From: childishdesires Date: January 12th, 2005 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Lmao!
raincrystal From: raincrystal Date: January 12th, 2005 04:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Speaking as someone who has not one, but TWO "collapsible bodice" icons, with opposite shoulders down... I &heart; this.
raincrystal From: raincrystal Date: January 12th, 2005 04:53 am (UTC) (Link)
...I also screw up the ♥ HTML.
jsie From: jsie Date: January 12th, 2005 05:02 am (UTC) (Link)
That was great.
I can't believe I didn't read that sooner.
I was laughing that much I ending up falling off the chair and reading most of it from the floor.
*two thumbs up*
tonybbb From: tonybbb Date: January 12th, 2005 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)

OMFG! I haven't laughed that hard in AGES!!!!

15 minutes? It took me nearly an hour to read it cause I had to stop and finish laughing so much.

I loved the movie and the stage version, but this is just perfect!
From: cinnamontwist Date: January 12th, 2005 05:17 am (UTC) (Link)
That is absolute fantastic!! *wipes away tears* Thanks so much!

p.s. This is a new username. My old one was sphinxy_frolics. I don't always comment much but I love reading your journal!
lorien__ From: lorien__ Date: January 12th, 2005 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
love your icon... brilliant
elvensapphire From: elvensapphire Date: January 12th, 2005 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)
That was the BEST thing ever. LMAO!!!! (It's also kinda late and I had to cover my mouth through the whole thing and thought I was going to die. hehe) Thank you for making my week. :D
boldmarauder From: boldmarauder Date: January 12th, 2005 06:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Read the book. Loved the bombastic "opera". Haven't seen the movie yet. Read parody on internet.

Your 15 minute Phantom left me choking with laughter. Your characters are dead-on dumb as a box of rocks. All that drama for a kiss!

[The Phantom is woefully playing with his monkey.]

UGLY MONKEY BOX: GOD, not like THAT, you pervs.

Choking with laughter again. Will stand in line to buy your book when it comes out.
1287 comments or Leave a comment
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