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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 23
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
cleolinda
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cleolinda
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.



ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.





Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.

OH MY GOD, HE'S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!Collapse )



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From: decemberxstar Date: January 12th, 2005 06:44 am (UTC) (Link)
This is fucking hilarious. I just saw it for the second time today. I love this movie. I love the way that you rewrote it to make it funny. You did an amazing job. Thank you for the laugh.
lo0ser_chelza From: lo0ser_chelza Date: January 12th, 2005 06:44 am (UTC) (Link)
you are a genius this is hilarious!
silentauror From: silentauror Date: January 12th, 2005 06:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Hi! I just wanted to say hello, and that I totally adore your movies in fifteen minuteses. They are quite terribly hilarious, and I blame the current pain in my ribcage on you. :) I TOTALLY loved this one! (There is also quite the special place in my heart for PoA and Troy in my heart, too!)

I loved it that you pointed out the pointlessness of half of those 1919 bits, the falling-down dress, the fact that "Think of Me" hardly constitutes as an opera aria (I'm an opera student, thank you very much!!) and, furthermore, wasn't part of the Hannibal opera in the book OR the musical. I also loved how you noticed the many, MANY costume changes, such as the one in the last-ish scene, where Christine puts the wedding dress on. Also, the Don Juan mask that covers 2 inches of the Phantom's cheek and then how that entire half of his face is gross and half his hair is missing... oh, there's just sooo much you did right; all those little things you noticed. Love it. Totally love it! Oh, and the Dread Pirate Roberts dancing men, in the Don Juan scene... *gasp* I just saw the movie for the second time last night, and my friend and I were all but shrieking with laughter at those men.

If you were ever going to add things (like the Draco origami crane note in PoA - love that!!), would you consider mentioning that one guy at the campy masquerade who was dressed like a weird, diamond-pattered bear or something? I mean, everyone else was in formal wear with funny hats and/or masks (like Firmin's ram horns, ha ha ha!), but there's that one guy, with this funny, furry, puffy... THING on himself.

And yeah, Christine and the not-so-subtly "hidden" giant sparkly engagement ring in prominently-displayed cleavage and non-matching dress... *wipes eyes* Perhaps someone forgot to tell the Phantom that the dress code was black and white, not red...

Btw, did you notice how crooked Meg Giry (aka "I have the voice of a six-year-old, despite being at least 18!)'s boobs were during that scene? They are. They're lopsided; one is more boosted than the other, and it's kinda hogging the other's space. Just another of the many laughable things about this movie.

And make no mistake. I loved it! Honest. I'll probably buy it. If only for the Dread Pirate Roberts dancers! (The thigh slap, it's all about the thigh slap!)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 12th, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I actually heard something really interesting about Christine's pink dress--either the director or the costume designer was saying that red is the Phantom's color (obviously), and Christine's dress was pink because she'd been "tainted" by him. Not like "ruined" tainted, but... he'd gotten inside her mind, to use the song lyrics. This makes 1) her red cloak and pink dress on the roof and 2) her red veil and red roses in the cemetery really, really interesting.
hrmwebb From: hrmwebb Date: January 12th, 2005 01:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Saw this link in a Gerard Butler community

I highly suspect cleolinda is a Gerry-luster.
Made me laugh, anyway!

Loved it, by the way, one of your best.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 12th, 2005 01:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Gee, I wonder what gave me away? ; )
flutteringazure From: flutteringazure Date: January 12th, 2005 02:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OMG! Even without seeing the movie (ahem, or the actual show for that matter - I just know the songs ;)) I love this 15 minute breakdown! And now I actually have to shedule in some time to go and see the movie (not that I have spare time but... you know... doesn't matter *runs towards movie theatre*)

*applauds*

Nine

glamourcorpse From: glamourcorpse Date: January 12th, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

Why don’t you ever cry when I kiss you, Raoul?

Not only is that the funnniest thing I have read, but your icon rocks too!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 12th, 2005 04:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Why don’t you ever cry when I kiss you, Raoul?

I've got folders upon folders of Heroine Addict icons if you want one. I think all the Phantom heroines are around here somewhere:

http://img38.photobucket.com/albums/v118/cleoicons/heroineaddict/phantom/
brody_robot From: brody_robot Date: January 12th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh wow. there was a post of icons made with quotes of this, with a link back to this post. i immediately came and read it and i am so glad that i did!

i've seen this movie 5 times now *blushes* and i have read Gaston Leroux's novel...but have never seen the stage performance. I really liked how you pointed out the differences between the book and the movie. i laughed so hard reading this, and when your book comes out, i am totally buying it!

<3
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 12th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Do you remember where that icon post was? I love icons. : )
lastyearswishes From: lastyearswishes Date: January 12th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
hahahahaha!!
that was awesome. I'm so bookmarking this :)
ashfae From: ashfae Date: January 12th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cannot...comment...too...busy...laughing...
athena799 From: athena799 Date: January 12th, 2005 06:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
...I love you.

I died laughing. Died. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, I was crying. You rock my socks!
(Deleted comment)
bibliotech From: bibliotech Date: January 12th, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I SO WANT TO SEE THIS NOW
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 12th, 2005 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
You! Are late to the party!

(Go see it go see it go see it. I'M going to see it again this weekend, because it is just that awesome. Hotness + hilarity = my money in their till.)
erikat From: erikat Date: January 12th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG I LOVE IT!

I also loved the movie a lot too. <3<3<3<3<3<3
From: lerafea Date: January 12th, 2005 07:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
YAYYYYYE, been awaiting thisa for longa time.
From: abrey Date: January 12th, 2005 07:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

Suggestion for Phantom in 15 minutes

LOL terrific summary. You caught all the things about the movie that are minorly (or majorly) annoying.

One thing I'd like to add:

When the Phantom takes Christine down to his lair, supposedly DEEP beneath the Paris Opera House, and that cheezy 80s music starts, how come it's probably at the same level the Paris SEWERS are? And howcome nobody complains about the STINK? Oh wait, it's PARIS in the 1870s and they're all FRENCH. They don't notice things like that.
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