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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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1267 comments or Leave a comment
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hermionep3 From: hermionep3 Date: January 16th, 2005 07:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

*Falls off of chair*

OMG! I love you, cleolinda! You are absolutely briliant! You have made my day!

Now, if only I knew who actually MADE the icon I'm using!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 16th, 2005 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: *Falls off of chair*

That's one of mine from the batch of 60+ in the very next entry on this comm. : )
veritaserum__ From: veritaserum__ Date: January 16th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
HOLY!!! *dies of laughter* that is the best. oh oh and you know right after raoul is like "why make her lie to you to save meeeeeeeee???" there's this sound like rrriwwrr! and it TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE ELMO! *dies again*
reddgray From: reddgray Date: January 16th, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
i love carlotta and mme giry..."with a k or a c?"
LMFAO i am printing this out and having its babies
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 16th, 2005 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awww, glad you enjoyed it. But watch out for the paper cuts...
From: bergerka Date: January 16th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC) (Link)


I'm practically crying, I'm laughing so hard, and my boyfriend is looking at me funny.
From: howdydudey108 Date: January 16th, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
this is GREAT!!! I already have an icon from it (as you can obviously see) but I it definitely rocked my socks. I'm going back to see the movie again tonight and I'm going to be giggling madly to myself the whole time. You have great talent, my friend!
brightone From: brightone Date: January 16th, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I never should have read this before I saw the movie. But I did and could not get certain lines out of my head while I was watching. Even though I liked the movie.

I definitely thought Raoul ran off to the bathroom during the Masquerade scene. I was trying not to laugh when he bolted and left Christine there to the Phantom's tender mercies. Heh. And then he comes back in, re-fastening his belt. Or possibly putting on his sword. I'm inclined to go with totally inappropriately timed bathroom break though.
From: shieldmatron Date: January 17th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Brilliant, as always!
sweetnessarose From: sweetnessarose Date: January 17th, 2005 12:26 am (UTC) (Link)


I love how Old Raoul Mmmfs. Hah! And the Dread Pirate Roberts dance troup. Teehee!
jessickuh From: jessickuh Date: January 17th, 2005 02:25 am (UTC) (Link)
[He takes her to an underground lair looking suspiciously ripped off the set for “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Can’t Remember the Rest of This Title).”

It's (But I Won't Do That.)

Anywho, there were some parts in the movie that confused me, like the lack of the French accent for one, and your parody cleared up my misconceptions. It also made me laugh till I almost cried. I'd love to have a kick ass icon like melwen up there.
(Deleted comment)
rosewood39 From: rosewood39 Date: January 17th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)
wonderful! your commentary fits this movie perfectly!
fire_inside From: fire_inside Date: January 17th, 2005 05:55 am (UTC) (Link)
This was the bestest thing I have ever read. I laughed all the way through. Well done.
_lovelygirl From: _lovelygirl Date: January 17th, 2005 06:41 am (UTC) (Link)
God it's wonderful! I laughed and laughed and then when friend came over and said what the hell is woring with you? I laughed some more! Wonderful and so great for those who love the Phantom more then Raoul but can still laugh at it.
dream_my_demise From: dream_my_demise Date: January 17th, 2005 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
hahah that was insanely awsome, I enojoyed it greatly and would love to hear another one like it hahaha.
From: jessicashaped Date: January 17th, 2005 10:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I think I peed myself reading this damn thing. Too damn funny. I loved it, awesome job. I'm going to send all my too serious drama friends to read this.
prettymama From: prettymama Date: January 17th, 2005 01:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

they say he saaaang to me...in dreams he caaaaaame...

HAHAHAHA! that was TOTALLY hilarious! i actually loved the movie and was afraid to read this at first cuz i thought it'd ruin my perception of it...but nahhh...this is too great.
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