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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 31
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
cleolinda
m15m
cleolinda
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.



ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.





Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.

OH MY GOD, HE'S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!Collapse )



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Current Music: DUHHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHHHH!

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From: khallandra Date: January 21st, 2005 01:41 am (UTC) (Link)

LOL

That's great.
bumbadabum From: bumbadabum Date: January 21st, 2005 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)
haha!! that was gr8!!!
darkartscat From: darkartscat Date: January 21st, 2005 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)

I just *HAD TO* make this 666 comments!!!!

Couldn't resist!!!

After all.....it's the chandelier of DOOM! DUHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN DUNNNN!!!!!!
From: captain_galaxy Date: January 21st, 2005 10:51 am (UTC) (Link)
i love you icon
From: squirrlinmakeup Date: January 21st, 2005 07:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was hilarious, and you convinced me to see the movie. I really didnt want to but now I have to. Just like Troy, I sat down for three life draining hours so I could laugh at the "Cousin, totally cousin" bit and "Squee its Boromir"...I did squee by the way.


The best parody was of course Carlotta
"CARLOTTA: I hate-a you alla so verreh, verreh much."

dies from funny
luna_norvegese From: luna_norvegese Date: January 21st, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh. My. God. That was brilliant!! *loves, loves, loves, loves*

CHRISTINE: So, I'm gonna take your mask off.
THE PHANTOM: Okay.
CHRISTINE: Peeling it off as we speak.
THE PHANTOM: Ten-four.
CHRISTINE: It’s totally coming off.
THE PHANTOM: Sure, have a party.
THE MASK: *comes off*
THE PHANTOM: OMG YOU TRAMPSLUT WHOREBITCH HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
CHRISTINE: But I—you said—
THE PHANTOM: YOU CAN NEVER EVER LEAVE MY BATCAVE NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MY ACCURSED RADIATION BURNS!


How could you not love the film? *falls off the chair laughing*
etoiline From: etoiline Date: January 21st, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
OHMYGOD. I'm at work and I just read this, after seeing PotO twice in theaters and laughing about it...of course while I was doing so, my coworker made a very lengthy call (in Japanese) right next to me, so I was trying to muffle laughter...people look at you quite strangely when that happens. You are SO GOOD. I wish I had half the funny quotient you have. Carlotta's lines were great. You are teh amusement. LOVE!
alligatorandme From: alligatorandme Date: January 21st, 2005 11:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
You rock!

I was out of the country for three weeks, and look what I miss!
sheros_daughter From: sheros_daughter Date: January 21st, 2005 11:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
I LOVE IT! You DON'T understand. It's HONESTLY so fabulous.
nox_obscura From: nox_obscura Date: January 22nd, 2005 12:10 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG! I never laughed so much in my entire life!!This is great, ah ah!XD
From: pinkrouge Date: January 22nd, 2005 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Seriously hon, I don't know how you'll ever get through all the comments - but this is BRILLIANT!

It takes me longer than 15 minutes to read it though, because I have to keep stopping to laugh my guts out!

We love this over at gerardbutler.net (but you prob. already knew that)!

Thank you thank you thank you! I love this movie to bits but I also love that I can totally laugh at it too!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 22nd, 2005 01:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Really? I didn't know that! Do you work over there? (Are y'all the same as gerard-butler.net with the hyphen? I get easily confused.)

Seriously hon, I don't know how you'll ever get through all the comments

By reading and/or answering them as quickly and promptly as possible. ; )
kananigirl From: kananigirl Date: January 22nd, 2005 01:11 am (UTC) (Link)
OOOOOOOOH! That was sooooooooooo good! I loved it! That is sooooooo witty!
From: suzych Date: January 22nd, 2005 04:49 am (UTC) (Link)

I love your French accent!

Oh, that was *great* -- vairee fonnee! You skewered all the wonderfully idiotic moments, and I see that you remember your Leroux, too (do you think that's "le roux" as in the thickened gravy they use in New Orleans gumbo, known as "roux"? Kinda fits the circumstances, actually) when it counts. I figure the inclusion of the word "Persian" is code for "I read the novel."

A *vairee* silly book, too; but I loved the stage show for the absolutely shameless, schlocky showmanship of it, and the cruel and unusual music which is impossible to excise from your memory once you hear it even when you have grown to loath it utterly. I think there's some kind of gypsy curse mixed up in the score someplace: "You shall die at the age of one hundred, still racked by the the strains of DAH -- DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH -- DAH!"

You might want to check out my comments on the movie on my blog here on LiveJournal -- or even my review of the movie, linked through the blog at http://www.suzymckeecharnas.com/Esy_Phantom.html, which I'm afraid may come across a bit ponderously, probably, by comparison with this delightful take-off of yours. Funny how a lot of the plot-hole goofyness that you send up so cheerily was somehow easily overlooked in the heat of the action in the live theater; but it's inescapable, and inescapably embarrassing, up there on the merciless, close-up ridden screen.

Thanks for a very good bunch o' laughs! Great idea, executed with elan (also panache).
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 22nd, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: I love your French accent!

Thanks! (I was a French minor, so I know enough about the proper phonetics to spoof the accent well enough, I guess. My real accent is crap.) I'll take a look at the link while I'm on break today. : )
thejobsagame From: thejobsagame Date: January 22nd, 2005 05:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh goodness XD I've seen Phantom of broadway many many times, unfortunately, I live in a place where the movied didn't come out until, well, today. I read this about a week ago and found it absolutely hilarious. So I forwarded the link to my father, who sees Phantom with me and he loved it as well. Well, tonight at the movie, he and I kept saying the lines that you had written and ended up giggling insanely through the whole thing. You're so completely brilliant. I totally <3 you!
From: deoxyribos3 Date: January 22nd, 2005 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)
you are awesome beyond words.
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