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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 46 — LiveJournal
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cleolinda
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cleolinda
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.



ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.





Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.

OH MY GOD, HE'S SLIGHTLY UNATTRACTIVE ON ONE SIDE! TO ARMS!Collapse )



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Current Music: DUHHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHHHH!

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From: candysweet1992 Date: May 8th, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

This Parody!!!

This is my fave parody so far! I've read all of them already... I liked them sooo much! Here's a parody of my own about The Grudge:

Weird woman ghost and her creepy son ghost: COme in our cursed house and die!

[Everyone goes in the cursed house]

Weird woman and creepy boy ghosts: DIE DIE DIE!!!

[Everyone dies except for Karen (SMG)]

Karen: Yay! I'm the only one not dead!

The scary woman ghost: (Stands behind her) *you wish...*

fimbulvetr From: fimbulvetr Date: May 8th, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
You... are insanely funny. I adore every second. It was great.
phantomessrose From: phantomessrose Date: May 8th, 2005 11:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Absolutely brilliant!!

Oh, dear God this was funny.....hehehehe! I've read this over and over again and it never ceases to make me laugh out loud!! Hahaha!!! This is pure genius! All of your "Movies in 15 Minutes" are! *huggles* Heh. "I leaf an' mah doggeh leaf too! Screwa you alla!" Hahahaa! *Falls over laughing* Hilarious! Friggin' hilarious!! *reads again and again and again*
clouds_up From: clouds_up Date: May 8th, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've just finished watching this movie and I rushed over to read your parody. HI-LARIOUS! I'm definitely showing this to my friend. She'll DIE!
adrianm1 From: adrianm1 Date: May 9th, 2005 03:33 am (UTC) (Link)

Your phantom parody

I LOVE IT!!!
sturmclan From: sturmclan Date: May 9th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Once again, Cleo, you have captured the hilarity to perfection. Now that's it's on DVD, I finally got to see it & followed along with your parody as I watched.

The Dread Pirate Roberts' corp? Hy-freaking-sterical. Thanks for brightening up my day.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 9th, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awww, yay!
cheshire_hope From: cheshire_hope Date: May 10th, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

*dies of laughter*

LOL, you know, maybe reading this when i have a sore throat and a cold and keep going into coughing fits when i laugh wasn`t such a good idea.....but who cares! i loved it! and i wouldn`t worry about the people saying you have no appriciation for the movie, play, or book. can`t keep ALL this stuff so seriouse^__^
giggles4lyf From: giggles4lyf Date: May 11th, 2005 12:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I LOVE THE PRINCESS BRIDE REFERENCES!!!!! and i always did think the sheep were kinda funny, and red death, or spanish inquisition! anyway, it was hysterical! loved it a lot
From: me_stoned_duh Date: May 11th, 2005 08:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

absolutely hilarious

OMG! it must be one of the funniest things i EVER read!! it's really, really great! i luv all of ur movies in fifteen minutes!
tawonganpyro From: tawonganpyro Date: May 12th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC) (Link)
lol, i have shown (and read) this to so many friends - you should do more movies and publish them
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 12th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I am, actually. The new manuscript deadline is actually this Sunday, so wish me luck. : )
moonie117 From: moonie117 Date: May 12th, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was watching the DVD last night (for about the umpteenth time, because Gerard's hot as hell, and quite frankly, I laugh whenever I remember what you wrote about this)...and I noticed something that I found extremely funny.
When Christine faints, and he starts carrying her up the stairs, she totally gets whcked in the face by a gi-normous tassel.
bwa hahahaha
angel_jem From: angel_jem Date: May 13th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! I finally got around to seeing this movie, already had seen the show in NYC and LUV'D it! But yea, whole time I watched to movie i'm thinking, but if he just keeps the half mask on he's totally hot! Stay with the hotty Christine! doh! hahahaha..

'look it's life-size!' hee..
moonbrat2001 From: moonbrat2001 Date: May 13th, 2005 10:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh my Lord

Oh my Lord. I totally worship you. My friend printed this out and gave it to me while having lunch in the school caf. I nearly choked on a french frie I was laughing so hard!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 13th, 2005 11:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Oh my Lord

Awww! Hee.
geartemis From: geartemis Date: May 14th, 2005 12:44 am (UTC) (Link)

omfg. XD

Oh man this is funny...XDDD I can't believe I haven't commented on this yet. This is like, my favorite 15 minutes ever.
My favorite parts are as follows:

A FALLING BACKDROP: *puts everyone out of their misery*
FIRMIN: Oh, thank God.

INCREDIBLY '80S MUSIC: DUHHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHHHH!
(XDDD SO EIGHTIES.)

CHRISTINE: Are we there yet?
THE PHANTOM: No.
CHRISTINE: Are we there yet?
THE PHANTOM: No.
CHRISTINE: Will we get there any faster if I flash all of my thigh and possibly more?
THE PHANTOM: …Yes.

A RAT: Hey, baby.

CHRISTINE: So, I’m gonna take your mask off.
THE PHANTOM: Okay.
CHRISTINE: Peeling it off as we speak.
THE PHANTOM: Ten-four.
CHRISTINE: It’s totally coming off.
THE PHANTOM: Sure, have a party.
THE MASK: *comes off*
THE PHANTOM: OMG YOU TRAMPSLUT WHOREBITCH HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(*snickers*)

ANDRE: NO. CAST.

THE PHANTOM: Quick as a cat! Quick as a cat!—I NOOSE YOU!

RAOUL: Oh, shpfff. There’s no Phantom.
[The Phantom who does not exist is watching them from behind a statue.]
CHRISTINE: Yuh-huh! We had a sleepover and everything! I’ve seen his face, Raoul!
RAOUL: OMG YOU SAW HIS FACE?
CHRISTINE: It was terrible!
RAOUL: How terrible?
CHRISTINE: Well… not really all that terrible, it wasn’t even his whole face—it wasn’t even really half his face…
RAOUL: IT SOUNDS SO TERRIBLE.
CHRISTINE: And I mean, really, it’s not like he’s a leper or anything… really, you could just have him sleep on the right side of the bed and he’d look just fine if you were lying on the other side… really fine…
RAOUL: YOU MUST BE TRAUMATIZED. TELL ME YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED.

[Suddenly, the lights drop and the music goes evil and the Phantom enters dressed as the Red Death, or the Spanish Inquisition, or something.]
THE PHANTOM: NO ONE EVER EXPECTS ME!

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: Christine! Come to me!
CHRISTINE: Daddy? Is that you?
VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: …Sure, if that’s your kink.
[Raoul rides up, leaps off his white charger, and tosses his hair urgently.]
RAOUL: Christine! That’s not your dad! That’s just the Phantom!
VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: NO IT’S NOT! I’M TOTALLY HER DAD! DADDY LOVES YOU, CHRISTINE!

RAOUL: *STABBITY!*
THE PHANTOM: *SLASHITY!*

THE PHANTOM: BE MINE FOREVER AND I WILL CONSUME YOU IN A COMPLETELY NON-FIGURATIVE WAY UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN!

HAHA this is just too funny :P Can't wait for the book.
From: sailorknightz Date: May 16th, 2005 12:44 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my gosh... My dad bought me the Spamalot CD last night and I think I laughed harder reading this than listening to it. I LOVE the "NO ONE EVER EXPECTS ME!" Yay Monty Python! Though two things I have to point out: The chandelier doesn't crash in the stage show until after Erik sings "You will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you". In the show it switches back to Christine singing the Countess and he drops it there. The other thing is Erik doesn't give Christine Raoul's ring until they're in the lair, right around where you wrote "CHRISTINE: Seriously? It wouldn’t be that hard if you weren’t SUCH A WHINY BITCH ABOUT IT." Just thought I'd point those out. Also, I'd like to ask if I could illustrate this in a comic form? I would, of course, give you credit for the script.
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