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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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celticshrew From: celticshrew Date: May 16th, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

One of many comments...

Absolutely brilliant!
ballerinawannab From: ballerinawannab Date: May 17th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
wow, that was amazing..


[The Phantom is woefully playing with his monkey.]

UGLY MONKEY BOX: GOD, not like THAT, you pervs.

THE PHANTOM: Christine? You came back?

CHRISTINE: I just wanted to give you the ring. You know. As a token. Of my eternal… affection. Yeah. “Affection.” And my phone number. And my forwarding address.

wow, keep up the good work
iam321invisible From: iam321invisible Date: May 18th, 2005 03:16 am (UTC) (Link)

you're amazing

pretty sure i LOVE the 15 minute version of phantom of the opera here, haha, i'm not even kidding. i told ALL of my friends about it, and i come look read bits and pieces over and over again when i'm bored.. and sit here cracking up in my chair looking like a lunatic. THANK YOU!
From: grammieflood Date: May 18th, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

POTO Remake!

I have seen POTO both on stage and at the movie theater. I have to say that with your version, I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. Bravo!!!
From: elvenfaery88 Date: May 19th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is so awesome! I LOVE the movie! And this rendition is so funny, I was laughing the whole time! Great Job!
silken_rose From: silken_rose Date: May 20th, 2005 01:35 am (UTC) (Link)
nice work :D didnt get to read them all, but will do :D hehehe, go the laugh factor :D
From: littlepassion Date: May 21st, 2005 11:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Small correction before I go on to gush - movie!Phantom doesn't hand his manuscript to the managers (or toss it, like he did in the stage version I saw), but chucks it on the floor like a pissy three-year-old. Ouch.

Now for the gushing: this rules, muchly, as do the rest of your parodies. I have the memories page of this community bookmarked for whenever I need a giggle, so thank you for that. Will a humble Brit like myself be able to buy your book when it's published?

Oh, and. *points to icon* If I make more along the same lines, do you have a particular post where I could submit them?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 21st, 2005 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Reply here and I'll add them to the most recent post (which is about POTO icons) and add them to the icons section of the memories. : )

(And the publisher itself is British--Orion--so you shouldn't have any problem.)
From: sailorknightz Date: May 23rd, 2005 03:10 am (UTC) (Link)

No Fair!

My AOL radio started playing Point of No Return and I kept laughing so I couldn't hear it! THANKS.
From: charat_142 Date: May 23rd, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC) (Link)


Hola! One word: HILLARIOUS!! XD lol

But I have a few questions of this m15.....because I'm Spanish and I don't understand a couple of things or jokes....

THE PHANTOM: I KEEL YOU, FABIO!.....Who is Fabio?!?!??!



Pease.....Can someone explain me this? (Yes, my english is very bad)

Thank you!! =)
diviana_nyx From: diviana_nyx Date: May 24th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC) (Link)


Fabio was a male model who was on the cover of many harlequin romance novels (women's porn books).

The Dread Pirate Roberts is from the movie "The Princess Bride". The costumes of the dancers looked a lot like Roberts' costume.

Hope this helps you. :)
From: psychosam666 Date: May 23rd, 2005 10:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

XD snowflake! HA! love it!

RAOUL [fluffing hair, arranging open collar]: There’s no time to get a coat, man! [Leaping on white stallion bareback:] To the cemetery, Snowflake! Away!

Oh my lord that is halarious... Raoul is such a fop! Ha!
I too have see the movie (many times and own it) and have read the book (the original!) and ADORE them both! It is quite amusing the great difference between Leruox's novel and Webber's play!
I rather enjoyed your "POTO in 15 min" and it gave me a few chuckles because I felt almost the same while watching the movie. They are all incredibly dumb, except the beloved Erik who's a bit of a drama queen but thats fine... I still love him anyways lol
Continue writing your wonderful humour!
(Deleted comment)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 24th, 2005 03:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Of course, no problem! : )
madhattersalice From: madhattersalice Date: May 24th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Holy crap. I found this in my friends journal, it was SO funny. Can I put a link in my journal for my friends to read this? Please?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 24th, 2005 03:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Links are great! Just as long as you don't repost the whole thing. : )
beast_boy_enix From: beast_boy_enix Date: May 24th, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awsome, totally awesome
From: band_dork16 Date: May 25th, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Freaking Hilarious.

I think yours makes more sense than anything lol... nicely done... I think I've seen some of your icons with quotes taken from this... hehe... Love it!
divajess From: divajess Date: May 27th, 2005 01:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Okay, so, I suck and I just now saw this movie...I knew you'd done a m15m for it, but I had refused to let myself read it until I saw the movie...and this line especially cracked me up:

THE PHANTOM: Oh, and the lovely Christine, who would be a perfect lead for my opera except for the fact that she is a CHEATING WHORE who prefers the Missing Hanson Brother to me.

...because ALL I could say was "Wow, he looks like he belongs in Hanson!" when I saw Raoul for the first time. Great minds, I suppose. Good job!!!!
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