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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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1267 comments or Leave a comment
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pennilesspoet19 From: pennilesspoet19 Date: May 28th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha! Ok, after my... *tries to think* ...my FOURTH read through, I just HAD to comment. This is just marvelous! I adore movies in 15 minutes, but sometimes people who don't actually have a good sense of humor try to write them and they're not so great. This, obviously, is NOT one of those cases. I tip my hat to you! *tips hat* And you're right about the whole loving-the-movie disclaimer at the top. I don't know why you WOULD bother writing one for a movie you didn't like, and it's much easier to do a good job poking fun at something when you love it to begin with, cuz then you're being FUNNY and not mean :)
Kudos to you!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 31st, 2005 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Wait... have you read other "Movies in Fifteen Minutes," using that actual title, that were not by me?
failingbeauty From: failingbeauty Date: May 29th, 2005 07:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Im in love, that's amazing, you are a great writer.
Im going to add it to my memories as well
From: eriksprimadonna Date: May 30th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC) (Link)
AHAHAH this is the funniest thing I've ever read!!!!

My sister and I read it and couldn't stop quoting it whilst watching PotO!!!

ahahah I love it!!
wernotalone From: wernotalone Date: May 31st, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was awesome. I was reading it in Psych class today and laughing so hard and quoting random lines that they decided to diagnose me...

I hear someone is making a movie of this parody. My friends and I were thinking of doing something like Lord of the Peeps with phantom, and we were wondering if it would be okay to use a few of your lines. We could send you the finished product, script and things of that nature. pleasepleasepleaseplease...please?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: May 31st, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Actually, I've given permission to several people to stage it with theater/school groups and so on, so I don't see how Peeps could hurt. Just send me the finished whatevers, yes. : )
mvs91 From: mvs91 Date: June 1st, 2005 02:10 am (UTC) (Link)
not sure how i found this, but it is the most hilarious thing! HA!
vampwill From: vampwill Date: June 1st, 2005 07:23 am (UTC) (Link)
an lj pal sent me here
this was great thanks so much for posting it!
I love phantom
and I so agree that chris loved him lol
surfergirl7610 From: surfergirl7610 Date: June 1st, 2005 10:32 am (UTC) (Link)
I absolutely love the Phantom of the Opera, both the movie and the play, but this is just too funny. I pretty much choked from laughing so hard. LMAO
lizzyrose89 From: lizzyrose89 Date: June 1st, 2005 10:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! I've just been to my friend's house to watch this and we were giggling at Christine's boob traumas as well! Very, very funny! I particularly liked the 'slutbitch whoretramp' comments, because it is a very catchy phrase. I shall try to use it in a sentence tomorrow! You rule, as always, and I hope you get the internet back soon! :-)
steerpikesister From: steerpikesister Date: June 2nd, 2005 10:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
From: sparklingsoull Date: June 3rd, 2005 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Best thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
moonsenorita From: moonsenorita Date: June 3rd, 2005 06:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Lmao! Yay for kinks, sexing, and Dread Pirate Roberts! ;D Fricking hillarious! Glad, that you wrote this. XD I was thinking some of the same things on some of the scenes (especially the one, after Raoul makes up his plan) just slightly different... ;D I'm still convinced that the Phantom wears the mask, not because he's ugly (he wasn't *that* bad) but because it's sexy!! Such a kinky bitch he is... ;D Loved the Don Juan scene, awesome work! Hahaha!
octagonal From: octagonal Date: June 3rd, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes! You are my LJ Hero. Congrats ;)
ikkinb1018 From: ikkinb1018 Date: June 3rd, 2005 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
This is awesome! I've been telling all of my friends about it, you RULE!
From: lilmisstwirly Date: June 4th, 2005 03:19 am (UTC) (Link)
your version is so much better than the book, lol
ncsujen From: ncsujen Date: June 4th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

I literally LOL'd for about five minutes.
1267 comments or Leave a comment
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