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Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes - Movies in Fifteen Minutes Page 49 — LiveJournal
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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1267 comments or Leave a comment
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jyu From: jyu Date: June 5th, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
demonicxhalo From: demonicxhalo Date: June 7th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
you = brilliant
my herooo!
From: lilwatersprite7 Date: June 7th, 2005 06:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
that was wicked funny! thanx for the laugh
From: ladyisla Date: June 8th, 2005 05:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the book references...oh, and dropping in the Dread Pirate Roberts. But I have to say, Raoul is much better in the movie than he is in the book. And still pretty cute, even if the movie Phantom is some sex god.
This is great stuff. Thanks!
clumsy_blonde From: clumsy_blonde Date: June 9th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
jesus, that's just about the funniest thing of my life. ohmygod.
elyim From: elyim Date: June 9th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ok, so, I'm going to love you the rest of my life. Watch out

That was the funniest thing ever. EVARR. With an a. And 2 rs. It's that good. Thank you!
seductivespork From: seductivespork Date: June 9th, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG I have been meaning to tell you that this is bloody hilarious and genius! It is all the things I was thinking during the movie (since it really disgraced the stage version)!


...And the whole "daddy issues" thing
...And "Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't such a WHINY BITCH ABOUT IT!"
...and how Raoul decribes his stupid plan.
...and the "I built it all myself! And I bet you’d be impressed, if you weren’t a TOTAL SLUTBITCH WHORETRAMP."
...and the "CARLOTTA: Mah nota say, “You suck, and so do the doggeh!”
...And the creepy monkey's lines.
...And how the phantom insults Piangi
...And "...except for the fact that she is a CHEATING WHORE who prefers the Missing Hanson Brother to me."

But I loved EVERYTHING, I just had to single out some appreciations!
From: sweetteeth15 Date: June 9th, 2005 11:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hahahaha. Funniest thing I've read in ages. :)
_phantomess From: _phantomess Date: June 10th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC) (Link)


that was REALLY funny! i only figured it out today because i made a short phantom script (really, really pervey script) for the phantom and someone told me that there was another version so i went a read it...this one is way better than mine and i love it!! :)
mlle_operaghost From: mlle_operaghost Date: June 11th, 2005 12:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Freaking hilarious. I've read it months ago, and now I have re-read it...

Ahhhh.....this perfectly made my day.

Excellent work.
millswedishfish From: millswedishfish Date: June 11th, 2005 05:02 am (UTC) (Link)

This Is So Great!

I don't know if I like this one or Harry Potter better. They are all hilarious!

CHRISTINE [singing sadly]:

You were once
my bosom companion
but now my tears
wet lots of tissues.

You were once
my dad and best friend—
but now you’re dead
and I’ve got daddy issues.

My sister and I laughed so hard at this one.

CHRISTINE: And I mean, really, it’s not like he’s a leper or anything… really, you could just have him sleep on the right side of the bed and he’d look just fine if you were lying on the other side… really fine…


CHRISTINE: And if he kidnaps me again, I’m going to be stuck down there forever… getting sexed up until the end of time, or until one of us dies from the massive amounts of constant, 24-7, day-and-night sexing.


[The Phantom is woefully playing with his monkey.]

UGLY MONKEY BOX: GOD, not like THAT, you pervs.
underwired From: underwired Date: June 11th, 2005 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry if someone's already said this, but there's no way I'm reading 31 pages of comments! ;) There's a hilarious man who writes "abridged scripts" for movies at http://ter.air0day.com . He's pretty funny, you might enjoy it.

The story was hilarious

From: ofcoursewewill Date: June 12th, 2005 03:54 am (UTC) (Link)
that was absolutely amazing haha...it was so awesome to find references from everything from monty python to the princess bride...and especially from the book. major props to you!!! ^_^ now, i could go to bed, or i could stay up for another few hours and read the rest of the 15 minute movies...heh heh wonder what ill choose O_O
sk_chan From: sk_chan Date: June 12th, 2005 07:12 am (UTC) (Link)
THIS IS GREAT! Nice work...was laughing/snickering most of the time. XD
From: xodeepinsideox Date: June 15th, 2005 06:58 am (UTC) (Link)

lol :)

omg that was soo funny, i saw the movie too and it was cool! u roc cuz that was awsome
1267 comments or Leave a comment
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