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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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riverbelow From: riverbelow Date: June 15th, 2005 07:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
ahhh haha oh dear God that was amazing.

[Raoul goes deeper into the cellars—and promptly falls into a pit full of water. That has a mechanized grate closing over it. That keeps pushing him under the water. Before he drowns, he swims down to the bottom and find a rusty old wheel that he manages to turn just in time to lift the grate. This scene is kind of pointless.]

haha, my thoughts exactly.
when I first saw the movie, I didn't know the whole story, and when that scene came on I was all "...what does this have to do with anything?"

and I like how you call the nurse the "Flying Nurse"

From: lovesthestage Date: June 15th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)


I loved it! I don't see y ppl would get all...touchy and yell @ you...It was funny...and SO WAT if u poked fun @ it...They all need to GROW THE HELL UP! I loved that movie and WOULD YELL if u didn't explain how it was just for fun...but keep up the good work! I love your work!

O.G. (lol)
From: modernlove_ Date: June 15th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was utterly amazing...


and the song... I'm not sure if you meant it like that or not "I'll do anything for love... i forget the title of the song" or something i'll do anything for love but i won't do that by meatloaf.

that... was so great... i loved it.
angelinthenite From: angelinthenite Date: June 16th, 2005 11:28 am (UTC) (Link)
I like how you kept coming up with new names to call Raoul.. they were funny and the moments where I couldn't contain my laughing.

Fabio, The missing Hanson brother.. CLASSIC!
hisangel_omusic From: hisangel_omusic Date: June 16th, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
this was HISTERICAL... my god pure genius if they made that into a real mini movie or sumin, thatd b award winning... now i kno where sum ppl get tha stuff 4 their icons that have realli funny shyt on them... lol good job! i loved it

1 <33 DeE*
shady_fetish From: shady_fetish Date: June 16th, 2005 06:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
LMAO This is really funny. You have such a great sense of humor! I absolutely like the references to the book.
shinigamikun From: shinigamikun Date: June 18th, 2005 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)

I <3 you for all eternity. ^^
From: elgato_gamgins Date: June 18th, 2005 07:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Wonderful! I love it!
From: soviet_bastard Date: June 18th, 2005 08:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Priceless. Absolutely priceless.
capesofwrath From: capesofwrath Date: June 20th, 2005 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Holy shit! Oh my gosh, I know you've heard this about a million times or so, but that was so, so funny! Oh, great work! ~applauds~ And it was amazing how many parts you skipped over from the movie, but you got all of the plot in. I'm mucho amazed.
teh_ringmaster From: teh_ringmaster Date: June 22nd, 2005 02:03 am (UTC) (Link)
You probably have gotten this alot... but that ROCKED xD so so random.. you have to love it. Alot of the things you make fun of are so true. Mostly Mme. Giry beeing the only one with an accent... like my father notied that as well.. it was funny too he asked about Christine "Why does the swedish girl have a brittish accent" my reply, of course, had to be "Because she lives in france!"
shinigamihimeko From: shinigamihimeko Date: June 22nd, 2005 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)


That was great! You captured perfectly how all the guys, and possibly Christine herself thought about were her boobs and how much her costumes showed off. The only thing I wish was touched was how the phantom is like old enought to Be Christine's dad. I mean he was the same age as madame Giry when they went to the freak show, right? Ewwww....
From: eruvadhril Date: June 22nd, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have we told you how absolutely goddess you are, lately?

Wondering if you knew about this movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0219653/ In which Gerald Butler is, indeed, some vampire. *has mad ideas in which Erik leads a heartbroken life and, after Christine's death... becomes Dracula. For... some reason*

By the way, where can I find the lyrics you invented for "Novellas of the Night"? Because I'm sure I remember you posting that, but I can't find it anywhere.
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 22nd, 2005 05:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Quite aware, although I only saw it for the first time about a month ago, and on TNT at that, so you know the good stuff was cut out. Dammit. ; )

(Actually, the "some vampire" thing was supposed to be an Angel (you know, the Buffy spinoff)/"Angel of Music" reference, which is kind of weird considering I've never even seen the show. But now that you mention it, that makes the "vampire" thing way funnier.)

I think Novellas of the Night is somewhere around in here--check the previous entry for the actual "Phantom of the Fiction Workshop" stuff.


From: marblesthecat Date: June 22nd, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dude that was hilarious. That was fuckin awesome.
spiffysavannah From: spiffysavannah Date: June 23rd, 2005 12:45 am (UTC) (Link)
tearsofaclown From: tearsofaclown Date: July 14th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
And exposition.
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