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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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cheeznquackers From: cheeznquackers Date: June 24th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Hmmm...3rd time I've read it and it never gets old.

[Suddenly, the lights drop and the music goes evil and the Phantom enters dressed as the Red Death, or the Spanish Inquisition, or something.]


PYTHON REFERENCE! They totally make any parody. *laughs*
From: blackfaerie306 Date: June 24th, 2005 02:46 am (UTC) (Link)
scribe_kitten From: scribe_kitten Date: June 24th, 2005 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)
"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts. There will be no survivors!"
FYI: The perfect hair thing -Erik has a whole bunch of wigs, and one was tied to his Don Juan mask. Bwehehehehe.

xxnightxx From: xxnightxx Date: June 24th, 2005 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)


Pure genius! Bravi, bravi! My friend and I quote it all the time, and we love scaring my other friends with it.
i_am_erihxc From: i_am_erihxc Date: June 25th, 2005 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh my Jesus...

....MARRY ME AND WHATNOT. That was soooooo excellent. Thank you.

ANDRE: Well, then why is she the only one with a French accent?
I always did wonder about that.
chriset07 From: chriset07 Date: June 27th, 2005 04:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

So that I can add my piece to the billions of other comments...

I absolutely LOOOVE this story. I read it and re-read it whenever I need a pick me up, and each time it makes me laugh. You did a wonderful job!

And what's this I hear about a book? Are you going to put in it all kinds of different m15m stories, like, even this one? I think I would like to buy it when it comes out!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: June 27th, 2005 04:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: So that I can add my piece to the billions of other comments...

Here's the contents of the book:

1993 Jurassic Park
1995 Braveheart
1996 Independence Day
1997 Titanic
1999 The Matrix
2000 Gladiator
2001 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
2002 Spider-Man
2002 Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones
2003 Lord of the Rings

With any luck, it'll be out in October. : )
flowered From: flowered Date: June 30th, 2005 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
i love how you wrote all the accents out... it was awesome. XD everytime i read this i laugh no matter how many times i've already read it.
misslilmaturity From: misslilmaturity Date: July 1st, 2005 04:56 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG thats soooo funny I laughed really hard. I loved your harry potter one too. ~Schyler~
From: mm_ricky_martin Date: July 3rd, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)


My friend has an account on live journal and she's always like "Open an account or I'll bite you!" (Not in those words but i know she's thinkin it...) And she sent me the link to "The Phantom of the opera in Fifteen Minutes" I fell in love with it as I fell in love with the Movie. Its a feast for the eyes! ORGASMIC IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD! Anyways I have been exploring and came upon all this jibber that you have icons! *FUGWA* I love them of course, and (I hope you don't mind) We (my friends and I) decided to put your script to the big screen.... in a smaller sense though. We had a few friends act it out to the video camera... tres bonne! You of course were credited, I worship your work its fantastic! Its even better that you are getting paid to do something you are so awesome at!
Keep up the good work! Thank you for making "affectionate snark" of movies we all came to love... I love you! Lets get married.... Are you for Gay marriages? JUST KIDDING! I'm with Gerard.... for a time.... ahhh
From: lycanie Date: July 5th, 2005 12:50 pm (UTC) (Link)


For the past 6 months whenever I've been feeling bored or sad all I had to do was read this. xDD
Every single time I laughed almost costantly and all the way into tears. x''D

This is a legend in the PotO world. :D
This is SO indescribable awesome!

Thankyouthankyou so much for this.<3

"CHRISTINE: So… I choose you… the Phantom kills you… and he holds me captive anyway?


CHRISTINE: Hmm. This is a really good excuse to mack on this guy the way I’ve wanted to for the whole movie anyway.



[They kiss for, like, five minutes. It is a good kiss.]"

Especially those little details!
Such as the Phantom's "MOO HA HAA!" and "What?" xD

I can't stop laughing so I best o and do that somewhere else now.


This will live forever.
laina_182 From: laina_182 Date: July 6th, 2005 12:21 am (UTC) (Link)
short12stuff16 From: short12stuff16 Date: July 6th, 2005 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
that was freaking awesome and hilarious. makes me and my friends laugh everytime we read it. its great.
From: kikimermaid Date: July 6th, 2005 03:58 am (UTC) (Link)
-dies laughing-

You totally made my terrible day 100% better. =)
pinkstiletto510 From: pinkstiletto510 Date: July 6th, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
omg!! best thing ever!!!! LOVE IT
missypenk From: missypenk Date: July 6th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
omg wow. this is complete genius! I've seen the movie, stage show, and read the book, and there were some disappointing bits about each. but this is simple great. I love the part w/ the dread pirate roberts dance troupe. this is really great. congrats to you on how awesome this is!
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