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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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From: jinxedlady Date: July 9th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
OH, wow! I loved that! It totally rocked! I loved many different quotes, but calling Raoul the Missing Hanson Brother... utter genius! Ha, I really loved it!

<3 Katelyn
washu_bellana From: washu_bellana Date: July 10th, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read (apart from a T-shirt that said "I AM SPARTACUS")
Nice job! I bow before you and plead to be your comedy partner!!!! PLEASE???!!!!
Phantom (rolls his eyes): Dont listen to her! She thinks she's Elizabeth the 1st!
Raoul: That makes two of us then!
From: rae_kira Date: July 11th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROFLMYFAO!! Haha. I read the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban one too. "I think I watched a porno like this once.." lol.
princessjessia From: princessjessia Date: July 14th, 2005 05:48 am (UTC) (Link)

You are a GENIUS!

I am in awe to be in the presence of such genius! :) I don't think I've laughed this hard in a long time. This is my favorite musical and I just adore the way you did this - you truly captured some of the ways I reacted to parts of the movie (especially the whole facial distortion issues and Christine being so daft). I cannot wait to see more of your work, though I fear I shall forget to eat and sleep in my search for more funnies. Now if you have Harry Potter and Labyrinth done here somewhere, I may just die happy!
tearsofaclown From: tearsofaclown Date: July 14th, 2005 04:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was so great. I found it through limegreenwierdo (incidentally, the same person who had me watch the movie in the first place). I laughed so hard at this. *total thumbs up*
icarus_ennobled From: icarus_ennobled Date: July 18th, 2005 12:04 am (UTC) (Link)

Lovin' it big-time!!!

Awwww, dude, that was really great - I mean, I'm not too big on the recent movie but im a die hard fan of the show and I love watching the old black and white movie - BUT THIS ROCKS BIG TIME!!! Looking forward to reading more movies in 15 mins.
cripplemronion From: cripplemronion Date: July 18th, 2005 02:08 am (UTC) (Link)
This parody rocked all of my socks off. Several times. In a row. And it just gets better with each re-reading. :)

Quality work there. Quality.
From: forcexofxnature Date: July 19th, 2005 11:17 pm (UTC) (Link)


*bows before greatness*

that was one of the best things i've ever had the pleasure of reading. omfg too funny.

You were once
my bosom companion
but now my tears
wet lots of tissues.

You were once
my dad and best friend—
but now you’re dead
and I’ve got daddy issues.

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: Christine! Come to me!

CHRISTINE: Daddy? Is that you?

VOICE FROM THE DAAÉ TOMB: …Sure, if that’s your kink.

THAT is gold xD
_jadebutterfly_ From: _jadebutterfly_ Date: July 22nd, 2005 03:13 am (UTC) (Link)

This kicks ass

This is sooooo great. Whoever is sending you hate mail or whatever just has no sense of humor. I've seen both the Broadway show and the movie and loved both (even though the chandelier completely fell at the wrong time in the movie, but who's keeping track?), and I still pretty much fell out of my chair laughing at your story.

You captured everything that was retarded about the movie. Madame Giry's French accent (that no one else has), the constant CLEAVAGEFEST, the part where the phantom just lets Christine rip his mask off and then pretty much attacks her for it...

*My own personal note: Raoul IS a complete Fabio--plus he's boring. Christine should have gone with the Phantom. Guys with problems (and 3rd degree sunburned faces) are so much sexier.*

p.s. your other 15 minute movies are great too. You just rock.
kiwivodka From: kiwivodka Date: July 22nd, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
I <3 the movie, and I absolutely loved your parody. It was indeed hilarious.
From: roxainaboxa Date: July 23rd, 2005 06:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I think I love you. No really, you're brilliant. I read your Harry Potter 3 one first, and then went in search of exactly this. Yay! I am going to add this to my friends list.

This is stolen from a friend of mine. When Meg Giry finds the mask...

Meg: Ooh! I could totally sell this on ebay.
drama_queen99 From: drama_queen99 Date: July 25th, 2005 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)


Have you got a Lord of the Rings parody?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: July 25th, 2005 02:23 am (UTC) (Link)


It'll be in the book coming out this fall. : )
From: egypts_daughter Date: July 27th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
*slow claps while wiping tears of joy from face* That is gold. I have read the book, seen the movie, and plan on seeig the paly as soon as possiable, and this is pure genius, like everything else. BRAVA!!!
xcatchafirex From: xcatchafirex Date: July 28th, 2005 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Brilliant. Sheer brilliance! You're a genius. ^_^
broadwaypoetez From: broadwaypoetez Date: July 29th, 2005 05:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Aw. This is so much fun. (Mainly because I thought the film was.., mmmmmfgh!)

I know you wrote it in an affectionate way, but I just love the bite of it.
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