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Movies in Fifteen Minutes
This is, after all, what happens when you cross the streams.
Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes

As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write--it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.

ETA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this. I really, really liked the movie. I liked the book. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I like the actors involved. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. If I hated the movie, I wouldn't bother. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. Two today alone, in fact.)

P.S. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. It's a pun. It's supposed to be a positive thing. I'm not calling anyone a drug user. Thank you, and enjoy.

Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere; excerpts and links are always fine, though.

ETA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.


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girlfrom10thave From: girlfrom10thave Date: January 9th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm going to see this today and I know I'm now going to annoy the entire theater by giggling because I'll be thinking of this. I hope you know that if I get maimed for said giggling I'm making you partially responsible for any injuries I sustain:)
chanaleh From: chanaleh Date: January 9th, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cleo, I love you. I just saw this movie yesterday and -- though I mostly loved it -- the whole time I was thinking "What oh what will this be like In 15 Minutes??" And here you are to save the day!
piratesorka From: piratesorka Date: January 9th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
MEG: Hon? I think you may be wrong in the head.

Whatdayaknow...in one little sentence you summed up all I have ever thought regarding Christine


You are just too too clever!

dustin_00 From: dustin_00 Date: January 9th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
[Raoul goes deeper into the cellars—and promptly falls into a pit full of water. That has a mechanized grate closing over it. That keeps pushing him under the water. Before he drowns, he swims down to the bottom and find a rusty old wheel that he manages to turn just in time to lift the grate. This scene is kind of pointless.]

Didn't I see this in a Tombraider game or something?
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 9th, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know, I think Gerard Butler was IN a Tomb Raider movie.
anne_jumps From: anne_jumps Date: January 9th, 2005 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG Sisi reference!
From: dreagonfli Date: January 9th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was great, Cleo. I would quote bits back to you and say why they were so funny, but I'm too lazy. And also, I'd be quoting until the end of time. *Snog*
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 9th, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee. I wanna go back and see it agaaaaain! Because now I'll know what to expect and I won't be laughing so hard and I can actually enjoy the eye candy!
lordavon From: lordavon Date: January 9th, 2005 10:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

OMG too funny

People watching the movie who have never seen a real opera make a note not to start going now.

That is way way way the best line.
isadore From: isadore Date: January 9th, 2005 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
The best M15M to date! Now I must use my silent film Phantom icon in homage!
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 9th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Awesome. That movie, that's a lot of what I imagine when I read the book.
perrie From: perrie Date: January 9th, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was laughing so much I had tears rolling down my cheeks. This is BRILLIANT!
(Deleted comment)
cleolinda From: cleolinda Date: January 9th, 2005 10:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh. Well, he's a supertwit in the book, that's for sure. I liked him a lot better in the movie, as far as that goes. But I have to agree with Roger Ebert--I check his reviews every Friday, and he was like, "Any red-blooded woman is going to chose [this movie's] Phantom, DUH."
mhari From: mhari Date: January 9th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
My childhood. That was my CHILDHOOD. *flaps about on the floor like that one guy who was the Phantom when she saw it because beached penguins are totally fearsome*

You = genius.
emrelove From: emrelove Date: January 9th, 2005 10:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
HAHA! The only thing that was missing is the fact that Christine doesn't really sing Think Of Me well at all... or any song for that matter. Her voice is thin, and unremarkable at best... Nor did it give credit to her two acting choices. Confused. And Wonder. That's all she can do....

I was sad i didn't mention the masquerade Vogue dancer too.
short12stuff16 From: short12stuff16 Date: July 8th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
ok...no offense...but hun....did you HEAR the other lady that was going to play christine in the movie before she divorced andrew lloyd webber?!?! she was horrendous....*eye twitch at sara brightman* wow...ok...gerard butler's VOICE is even hott....i heard the soundtrack before i saw the movie and i was like "he soinds hott" and then i actually sawsaw</q the movie...and he was even hotter! cleolinda...youre freakin awesome this was deff one of your best m15m's and the thing about phantom being hotter than raoul...oh so very true
fourth_rose From: fourth_rose Date: January 9th, 2005 10:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hated the movie. But I LOVE your version of it! :-)))
princessmoe From: princessmoe Date: January 9th, 2005 10:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Floor+rolling= me.

OMG...genius...i take my hat off to you!

tecno_fairy From: tecno_fairy Date: January 9th, 2005 10:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwahahahahaha! Loved it - especially the bit about the Empress Sisi hand-me-downs. I saw the actual portrait when I was in Vienna recently - you're totally right! [/costume babble] And Carlotta and her doggeh totaly cracked me up too. Nice one!
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